


Whisper Across Galaxies

by yikeslikenikes



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Changkyun is a star like a literal star, Established Relationship, Existential Crisis, Feelings, Fluff, Happy Ending, Human Yoo Kihyun, M/M, Memory Loss, Past Traumatic Events, Reunions, Sex, Smut, Soulmates, Yoo Kihyun-centric, soft boys are in love and meant to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2020-08-11 11:06:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 36,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20152588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikeslikenikes/pseuds/yikeslikenikes
Summary: Kihyun’s star wasn’t the brightest or the biggest in the sky, but there was something about the way it twinkled in a rhythm that felt familiar.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I saw a random Tumblr post about befriending a star once, and I was obsessed, and then this happened.  
As of now, updating every Wednesday.

Kihyun was never one for astronomy. Sure, like any person he liked to marvel up at the night sky and appreciate the universe around him on occasion, but actually learn about it? That wasn't for him. 

All he knew was  _ that star, right there? That one’s mine.  _

He had said it when he was barely old enough to toddle around without help. He pointed up to a nondescript part of the sky, up at one twinkling celestial being and claimed it. 

_ That’s my star. It’s my friend, and it’s mine. _

His parents had been so amused, they had played along with it. They were surprised that Kihyun could even find the same star two nights in a row, let alone point it out and greet it every night after that. 

They claimed it made him a genius. 

Kihyun didn’t know about that. 

He was still a kid when he stopped saying goodnight to his star every night. 

“When I was a kid, I pretended I was best friends with a star. Called it mine and everything,” Kihyun said. Minhyuk setting up his new telescope scratched at the memory. 

“Just any old star?” Minhyuk asked back. 

“No, not just any old star. I’m selective.”

“You cannot convince me you picked one star and remembered it.”

“I still remember it,” Kihyun said, eyes already going up. He looked for it every time the skies were clear enough, although he never talked to it like he did when he was a child. 

“Oh, please. You could point to any star and say that was the one,” Minhyuk said. 

It was true, but Kihyun never pointed to just any star. He slowly raised his hand and shut one eye. And then he was pointing right at it. His star. 

“That one,” Kihyun said. 

Even as he rolled his eyes, Minhyuk moved closer to lookup, too. 

Kihyun’s star wasn’t the brightest or the biggest in the sky, but there was something about the way it twinkled in a rhythm that felt familiar. Calling his name in a whisper across galaxies. And Kihyun stopped saying goodnight to it a long time ago, but he never stopped looking.

“Well, Kihyun, you sure know how to pick them,” Minhyuk said. Kihyun laughed and elbowed him, smile on his face. 

“Not even your boyfriend would come out here to humor your purchase, but I did. Be grateful.”

“Oh, hush. You know Hyungwon is a creature of sleep.”

“And I'm not? I'd rather be inside in the air conditioning,” Kihyun said. 

“Hush. Point at your star again,” Minhyuk said. Kihyun sighed and pointed, and Minhyuk gets to work aligning the telescope at it.

“Here. Now you can see your star up close and personal,” Minhyuk said.

Kihyun had never been one for astronomy. He had no idea if his star was even a star or why it twinkled so much or if it had a name. He had never so much as pointed a pair of binoculars up at it.

He bent down and looked through the eyepiece. 

There it was but a bit bigger. Like seeing an HD photo of a pen pal for the first time. Light and brightness and the essence of creation in one blinking bundle. Kihyun smiled as he pulled away to let Minhyuk look. 

“Awesome. Now we can use this to watch the meteor shower this weekend,” Minhyuk said, eye pressed to the eyepiece. 

“Is that this weekend?” Kihyun asked. 

“Yeah. You coming?”

“What else do I have to do at two in the morning on a Friday?” 

“Good. It'll be fun,” Minhyuk said. 

That night as Kihyun settled into his bed, he peeked through his blinds up at the night sky. Through the window, he could still see it.

For the first time in a long time, Kihyun wished his star goodnight. 

_ “You remembered me!” _

_ Kihyun was floating in the universe, looking around for the source of the voice.  _

_ But he knew who it was even if he didn't know. He recognized it even though he couldn't say from where or when.  _

_ “I never forgot.” _

_ And then everything was blindingly bright, but Kihyun didn't even squint. Didn't go blind. _

_ Just felt warmer.  _

_ “I’ll come soon. Wait for me?” _

_ The voice was deep. Resonated down into Kihyun’s soul and made a home there. It had always belonged there, so why wouldn’t it? _

_ “I’ll wait for you, but how will I know it’s you? How long will I have to wait?” Kihyun asked.  _

_ His skin was licked by flames, but it didn’t burn. A home couldn’t hurt.  _

_ “Wait for me…” _

_ And then Kihyun was floating gently downwards, a feather in the wind.  _

“Cocoa or coffee?” Hyungwon asked. 

“I haven't had cocoa in ages,” Kihyun said. 

“Cocoa, it is,” Hyungwon said, clicking the pod into place and clicking start. 

“Will you guys hurry up? It’s supposed to be visible any time now!” Minhyuk called from the back door that led to the small balcony outside Minhyuk and Kihyun’s apartment.

“Just go ahead, we’ll be there in a second,” Hyungwon called. Minhyuk groaned before he walked back outside. Hyungwon rolled his eyes, tapping his thumb against the counter as he watched the machine gurgle before it spit out the cocoa into a mug. 

“You know he thinks this is a romantic gesture,” Kihyun said. 

“It is. He’d have been more successful if he hadn't invited you, though,” Hyungwon said. 

“Ah,” Kihyun replied, tracing the pattern of their countertop. 

“Not that I mind! If you weren’t here, he'd just end up complaining that we didn't actually watch the meteor shower.” Hyungwon immediately shut his eyes and sighed out, regretting what he just said. 

“Just give me my cocoa, Hyungwon,” Kihyun said, grin breaking out on his face even though he successfully held in his laugh. 

“Right. Here,” he said, handing him his mug. 

“Thanks.”

Kihyun slipped outside, cold fingers wrapping carefully around his mug, hoping the heat would help warm them. He sat down in one of the lounge chairs Minhyuk had dragged out to the deck and settled, sipping at his cocoa as he looked up. 

“Just so you know, I remember where you said your star was. Can you find it again?” Minhyuk asked from somewhere next to him. 

The lights in the apartment turned off, and they were plunged in all the darkness living in the city could afford them. Hyungwon walked out to hand Minhyuk his coffee before he sat down next to Kihyun. 

Kihyun sat up straighter and pointed up at his star. “There. I don't know what you're trying to prove.”

Minhyuk walked over and looked up. 

“Damn, you picked the same one.”

“Of course. It's my star.”

“Where are all the falling stars? I wanted to make wishes,” Hyungwon said. 

“All your wishes are right here,” Minhyuk said, and Kihyun could practically hear the smile on his face. 

“Ew,” Kihyun and Hyungwon said at the same time. Minhyuk laughed, and they all settled again, staring up at the sky. 

Even with all the light pollution, the flitting lights of a meteor shower were visible. Kihyun sighed out and lost himself in looking for them. 

Feeling small every once in a while was a necessity, Kihyun thought. The whole universe moved, and at times like this he felt like just a tiny fleck in it all. Floating. 

A feather in the wind. 

Kihyun frowned, a feeling of deja vu settling over him. Words on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't quite grasp. 

“What is that?” Hyungwon asked softly. 

Kihyun turned to see him pointing up, and then he followed his finger up to the sky. 

There was something streaking across the sky just below the zenith. It was incredibly bright, looking a lot closer than all the other meteors. 

“Never seen something like that before,” Minhyuk said softly.

They watched it for a second as it grew brighter and bigger, moving toward them. 

“Doesn’t it seem like...it’s coming for us?” Hyungwon said. 

Kihyun blinked and looked again. It wasn’t up in the sky. It was getting lower, level with them.

“Oh, shit,” Minhyuk said. He was scrambling up, grabbing at Hyungwon's arm and pulling him up. Kihyun hopped to his feet, stumbling over his forgotten mug of cocoa before he found the door and yanked it open. 

“Go!” Minhyuk said to him, shoving Hyungwon and Kihyun through the door. He slammed the door shut behind him. 

But Kihyun wasn't afraid like Minhyuk was. He thought idly that he should be, but he wasn’t. He turned back to look out the window, and he saw it come closer and closer until it crashed into the chairs. 

The apartment shook, and it was so bright outside, it almost looked like the dawn had come. 

“What the fuck?” Hyungwon said. 

Something yanked at Kihyun’s heart in his chest. At every part of his body. At his very soul. 

He ripped the door open and ran out and looked down. 

The most beautiful man Kihyun had ever seen was sitting up from the mess of chairs, pouting at them as he tried to move them away from him. 

He was glowing. 

He glowed.

“Um, hello?” Kihyun said. 

The man looked up at him, and then he smiled a smile so bright it was almost painful to look at. 

“Kihyun! You waited for me!” 

The voice melted down Kihyun’s spine and found it’s home again in his soul. 

Kihyun fell down to his knees and moved the chairs away from him. 

“I thought it was just a dream,” Kihyun said. 

“If a star visits your dream, it’s real,” he said, smile still on his face as he reached for him. 

Kihyun looked down and shuddered, his whole body seizing up with a sob. He didn't know why he was crying, but the need to was overwhelming. 

The star pulled him closer, closer, until Kihyun was buried in his collarbone, crying there. 

“It’s okay to cry. It’s okay. I waited for you. It wasn’t very long at all, I promise,” he said. 

Kihyun gripped at the thin fabric over the warm skin of his back, his shoulders, and pulled himself away. He looked at his face and sobbed again.

“Ch-changkyun,” he said. 

Changkyun smiled. “You remember.”

Kihyun sniffed and nodded, his hands coming up to touch Changkyun's face. 

He remembered it in bits and pieces.

All the dreams that would sit on the periphery of his memories, never allowing themselves to be fully seen. A glowing boy playing with him in his room, asking him for a name. The name Kihyun gave him. The first time they kissed when he was sixteen years old, and he had snuck out just to look at the sky. The way it had been the warmest he’d ever been. How his hands had always felt a bit colder after, and he never knew why. 

He remembered every time Changkyun left, pulling his memories with him. How Kihyun would mourn and cry over them all night but as soon as the sun rose they were gone, leaving him feeling emptier, but he never could place why. 

Kihyun gripped into Changkyun shoulders again, forgetting about the world. He leaned forward and kissed him, making Changkyun give a pleased little hum. 

And for the first time in a long time, his hands didn't feel cold.

“I don’t want to forget again, please. I-i don't want to forget again, Changkyun, I couldn't stand it, please,” he said. 

Changkyun cupped his face and wiped at his tears. 

“You won’t forget. I’m here. I'm right here.”

Kihyun shook his head and grabbed at Changkyun’s hands, pulling them to his lips to kiss them, kiss them all over. Knuckles and palms and tips of fingers. 

“I'll forget when you leave. I told you I never forgot, and I lied,” he said. 

It was desperate. It was always desperate when Changkyun visited. Something boiling up in Kihyun’s soul at the crash of emotions. 

“You didn't know, Kihyun. Your brain might’ve forgotten, but your soul didn’t,” Changkyun said softly. He pressed his palms to Kihyun’s cheeks, and they were so soft and gentle, and something pulled inside of Kihyun again 

“Hey, what the hell is going on?” Minhyuk’s voice carried. Broke into the little bubble that Kihyun had made where it was just him and Changkyun. 

Kihyun had forgotten him. He didn't want to look away from Changkyun’s face, afraid that if he did the memories would disappear, but Changkyun entwined their fingers and nodded, his glow softening to something tolerable. 

Kihyun turned to look at Minhyuk, who was staring down at them with wide eyes. 

“Kihyun?” he asked. 

Kihyun wiped at his face again and smiled as he stood up before helping Changkyun up. 

“Minhyuk, this is Changkyun. He’s...my star.”

Minhyuk blinked at him, then at Changkyun next to him. 

“If I hadn't just seen him fall out of the sky and glow, I'd call you insane,” Minhyuk said. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Minhyuk! You’ve taken very good care of my Kihyun,” Changkyun said. 

_ My Kihyun.  _ Everything was so bubbly and happy now it almost hurt. Kihyun laughed and pulled Changkyun closer to him, put his arm around his waist to hold him. 

Minhyuk gaped at them for a moment. Hyungwon popped his head out of the door. 

“Would...would you guys like some cocoa?” he asked. 

Changkyun shined brighter as he nodded. “Yes, please!” 

“Actually, I'll take the coffee now. Need to stay up,” Kihyun said. Changkyun wrapped his hand around the hand Kihyun had around him. It fit so perfectly there. Then Kihyun remembered why. 

_ I made myself fit you. I didn't want to be too big or too small for you.  _

Hyungwon nodded like this was all too normal, and then pulled Minhyuk inside with him. 

“You don't need to stay up for me,” Changkyun said softly. 

“Of course, I do. I never know when I'll see you next, and we don't get much time--”

“We have time. I won't leave with the sunrise this time. I won't leave for a long time,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun’s breath left him as he pulled Changkyun closer and kissed him again, as delicately as he could. 

“I missed you. I didn't know that I missed you, but I missed you so much,” Kihyun said. 

“I know. I missed you, too. I was so happy when you told me goodnight again. It had been so long.”

“I know. I'm sorry. I'll say goodnight every night from now on.”

Changkyun smiled and laughed, and it was the sound of true joy. 

“Since I'll be here for a while, will you let me stay with you?” Changkyun asked. 

“Always. As long as you want.”

“Kihyun.”

“Yes?”

Changkyun smiled and squeezed his hand. “I love you.”

Kihyun felt his eyes tear up again as he nodded and moved closer to kiss his cheeks, his eyelids, his nose. 

“I love you, too.”

Changkyun giggled softly, and then Kihyun kissed him again, pecking their lips together one last time before he just held him tight. 

“Let’s go have cocoa. I've never tried it before,” Changkyun said after a while, pulling Kihyun a bit as he stepped toward the door. Kihyun laughed a bit and let him go before taking his hand again, so they could walk through the door.

And there’s a comfort in being home again even when he didn’t know home was missing. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was always Changkyun.

Falling in love with a star was both the easiest and hardest thing Kihyun had ever done. All it took was one look up at the sky, and that was it. 

Easy. Simple. 

_ That’s my star. _

And that was it. 

He never knew if Changkyun called to him first, or if his first point made Changkyun notice him, but that's all it took. 

Kihyun didn't know that it was love then, of course. 

Love wasn't just pointing and claiming. Love grew from sharing secrets in the dark bedroom that Kihyun was terrified of when he was a kid except for when Changkyun was lighting it up. Love grew from holding hands while Kihyun told Changkyun the names of constellations even when Changkyun couldn't understand why humans connected those stars together when they were so far apart from each other. Love grew from Changkyun leaning back against a tree and asking to be kissed because  _ I can't kiss you first, I can't, please kiss me, Kihyun? _

But love didn’t just grow from the pretty happy things. 

It grew from crying each time Changkyun told him he had to go because Kihyun knew what that meant. It grew from Kihyun yelling at Changkyun and the sky because it didn't feel fair to be torn so far apart from his home. It grew from the times Kihyun told Changkyun that he didn’t want him to come back to go through this again and again only for him to break down and apologize and beg Changkyun to forget he ever said that. 

And that was hard. Savoring every second even though Kihyun knew he would forget it because even though it felt unfair, this was it. 

It was always Changkyun. 

And Kihyun looked at Changkyun right then, sitting at Minhyuk and Hyungwon’s kitchen table, sipping happily at his hot chocolate, he knew he’d do it all over again. 

Over and over again. 

“We never ate anything before,” Changkyun said, licking his lips. 

“You always came at night. I don't usually eat then,” Kihyun said. 

“Well this makes me happy. It tastes good,” Changkyun said. 

“Glad you like my hot chocolate,” Hyungwon said.

Changkyun blinked up at him and licked his lips again before looking at Kihyun. 

“I thought it was cocoa?” he asked softly. 

Kihyun moved his chair closer to Changkyun's and ran his fingers down the back of his head, feeling the soft strands of hair there. Changkyun smiled and leaned back a bit against his hand. 

“It is,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun frowned down at his mug. “So it's both? Is there a difference?” he asked. 

Kihyun grinned a bit, kept playing with Changkyun's hair. 

“There probably is, but we use them interchangeably,” he said. 

Changkyun nodded, probably filing the information away. 

He knew so much. About the universe, the way it moved. About people. About Kihyun. But words got lost on him sometimes. Connecting them to objects he never really interacted with. Conceptualizing in a language that at the end of the day wasn't his. Being too literal sometimes. 

Kihyun didn't ever mind helping him along. He only ever had to explain something once, and Changkyun knew it forever. 

“I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on the whole star thing,” Minhyuk said.

Changkyun perked up at that. 

“It’s okay! Humans don't know much about the universe, so don't feel bad.”

Kihyun snorted at Minhyuk’s slightly shocked face. 

“Ki, is this why you’ve never gone on more than a few dates with anyone? Because you were secretly dating a literal star?” Hyungwon asked.

“Technically, it wasn't a secret,” Kihyun said. 

“Can we even call him your boyfriend? Your star friend? What?” Minhyuk asked. 

Changkyun squinted at them, then at Kihyun, then back at them. 

“I thought...are you not Kihyun’s boyfriends?” Changkyun asked. 

Hyungwon choked on his drink, and Minhyuk choked on his own spit.

Kihyun sighed a bit to try to hide his grin, playing with Changkyun's hair. 

“Changkyun, they are just my friends. They are not my boyfriends just because they’re guys. Boyfriend implies that we’re together,” Kihyun said.

Changkyun pouted at him, obviously not understanding. “But we’re all together right now.”

Kihyun smiled. “Like. Together romantically. In love and all that.”

Changkyun’s eyes widened. “Oh! Okay. So Hyungwon and Minhyuk are boyfriends.”

“Exactly,” Kihyun said.

“Wait, how did you know that? We haven't even touched each other,” Minhyuk said. 

Changkyun turned to them, and then he glowed a bit brighter again. Smiled at them. 

“Your songs have synchronised,” he said, like that explained everything so easily. 

Minhyuk took a deep breath and picked up his mug. 

“Okay, I think I'm tapped out now on this whole star thing. I have no idea what that means, you definitely want to be alone with him, and I feel like my brain is turning to mush. I'm going to bed. Feel free to crash on the couch. Night, love you,” Minhyuk said with a wave before he started walking down the hall to his room.

“Yeah, I'm too tired for this. Songs. Stars. Glowing. My exhausted brain can’t handle it. Good night, though. It was very nice to meet you,” Hyungwon said, getting up after his boyfriend. 

“Goodnight! Sleep well!” Changkyun called after them. 

Kihyun was so fond as he leaned over to kiss his cheek. Changkyun turned to smile at him and waited, and Kihyun leaned in to kiss his lips, to give him what he wanted. When he pulled away, Changkyun leaned his forehead against his, giggling a bit.

“I like them. They have pretty songs,” Changkyun said. 

“I'm glad you like my friends.”

“But not your boyfriends.”

“No.”

“Are we boyfriends, then? We’re  _ together _ , right?” Changkyun asked. His eyes twinkled, the light falling gently from his pores pulsed. Kihyun smiled and kissed his cheek again. 

“Yes, although I should ask you officially,” Kihyun said. 

“Then ask.”

Kihyun laughed a bit and pulled away to kiss Changkyun’s forehead. “Will you be my boyfriend?”

And it's only because it's Changkyun that he doesn't feel the least bit embarrassed. 

“Of course! We’re in love and stuff,” Changkyun said with a grin. 

Maybe falling in love with a star was easier than Kihyun thought. It was infinitely easier with Changkyun right next to him. 

“We are,” Kihyun said softly. 

“My boyfriend. I’m sure that's more normal. According to your friends it's weird to call you my Kihyun. Minhyuk talked about it for a full minute,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun hummed and leaned in to press his forehead against Changkyun's again. He couldn't find a way to be close enough for some reason. 

“You can call me your Kihyun all you want,” he said softly. 

Changkyun smiled and giggled, reaching to hold him. To wrap his arms around Kihyun's shoulders. 

It seemed Changkyun couldn't get close enough either. 

“I like it when you call me your star,” Changkyun whispered. 

Kihyun looked at him. He couldn't hear whatever songs Changkyun always talked about, but he knew that theirs had to match. That whatever beat his light pulsed to was thrumming through Kihyun's soul. 

“So how much time do we have until you have to go again?” Kihyun asked. 

He liked to have an idea. Even if it made him ache enough to bring tears to his eyes when the hours and minutes dwindled down. 

The light around Changkyun pulsed again, and he licked his lips. He shook his head, making his bangs tickle against Kihyun's forehead. 

“We have time, Kihyun. All the time,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun laughed a bit, nosing at Changkyun’s cheek. 

“That's easy for a star to say.”

Changkyun pulled away and grabbed Kihyun’s face, squished his cheeks together to keep him in place. 

“I mean it, Kihyun. I'm not leaving,” he said. 

Kihyun blinked. He reached up to grab Changkyun's hands. 

“Don't lie to me just to make me happy,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun tilted his head. “If you went to sleep, I'd be here when you’d wake up, and I'll be there the next morning, and the morning after that, and all the mornings after.”

And then Kihyun leaned in to kiss him again because for some terrible reason Changkyun couldn't kiss him first. Changkyun sighed into it, and his hands moved down to squeeze the collar of Kihyun’s shirt, to pull him closer, closer.

He tasted like chocolate and sunlight. Like laying out under the sun on a pretty day. Like he was the sun itself. 

And maybe he was.

A sun for a different earth, a different system, a different world.

But he was there, in Kihyun’s arms, calling himself his. 

And he still wasn't close enough as Kihyun put his hand on the back of his head and held him against his lips for a while longer. 

“I love you,” Kihyun said as soon as they pulled apart.

And Changkyun smiled and took Kihyun’s face in his hands again. 

“I love you too. So much. Look at you. My Kihyun. You didn’t change much at all, but you grew so much in a year,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun laughed. “I didn't grow at all.”

Changkyun blinked at him. “But you did. You added new chords.”

“Oh, right. My song. It's hard for me to remember that since I can't hear it,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun smiled. “What have you been learning?”

Kihyun leaned back and thought about that past year. 

“I learned how to use a new camera. Is that it?”

Changkyun hummed and looked at the air around Kihyun. He had done that many times before. Kihyun wondered if he glowed in Changkyun's eyes, and if Changkyun could see all his secrets floating in the air around him. If he could physically see whatever music he seemed to always talk about. 

“Maybe. But there’s other things.”

Kihyun watched him and laughed a bit. 

“Can't you watch me? From all the way up there? Don’t you know everything about me?” 

Changkyun smiled and ran his fingers through Kihyun’s hair. “Only when you’re dreaming.”

“Oh.”

“You dream every night, though, so I get to see you often enough. Just not whatever you’re up to everyday.”

Something hitched up in Kihyun’s chest. 

“I'm glad you don't have to miss me too much,” he said. 

Changkyun smiled again, and this time it was a bit sadder as he brushed Kihyun’s hair back out of his face and looked at him. 

“But I did miss you. All the time.”

Kihyun felt it hitch up again, and he kissed Changkyun, still sitting at Minhyuk and Hyungwon's table. 

He didn't think he'd ever be able to stop. But he had to breathe eventually. 

He pulled away, gasping, and Changkyun just smiled at him, brushing his fingers against his cheeks. 

Kihyun felt so tired. It was late, had already been late when he first stepped outside with his mug of cocoa to look for falling stars. 

“You promise you'll still be here when I wake up?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun nodded. “I promise.”

Kihyun laughed a bit, giddy and strange because that's never happened before. 

“The couch is big enough for both of us,” Kihyun said, standing up as he took Changkyun's hand again. Changkyun followed after him.

“I can make myself smaller if I need to,” Changkyun offered. 

“No. I want you just the way you are,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun smiled. “Which way is that? Glowing up in the sky?”

Kihyun rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch. 

“I see your jokes have gotten better,” he said. 

“Yes. But I was expecting a laugh,” Changkyun said with a pout. 

Kihyun pouted back as he guided Changkyun down on the couch and settled down on top of him. 

This was new. Kihyun had never slept with Changkyun before. But they still fit together perfectly. Kihyun’s head on Changkyun's chest, their legs tangled together. Changkyun’s arms wrapped around him. 

Kihyun felt his eyes start to drop. 

“Changkyun.”

Kihyun was probably grossly obvious with his concerns, especially to someone who knew him so well. He didn't have to say anything else for Changkyun to start rubbing up and down his back. 

“I’ll be here. You won't forget as you sleep,” Changkyun promised softly. 

And then his light even dimmed to make it easier to sleep. Kihyun let his eyes close, and for the first time since he was sixteen, he didn't need to bury himself under blankets to be warm enough to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!!  
Hit me up:   
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	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good morning, starshine.

When Kihyun woke up, he was disoriented at first. He had slept in his jeans and shirt, and he wasn’t lying on the couch, but on something else, and at first, he frowned.

And then he remembered. 

He picked his head up to see Changkyun asleep beneath him, his face relaxed, and the glow around him pulsing slowly. 

Kihyun’s eyes teared up. He had never woken up in the arms of his love before. Had never dreamt the night away holding him. Kihyun sighed as he moved up and kissed Changkyun's cheek. 

Changkyun whined a bit as his body stretched, his eyes barely coming open. He looked up at Kihyun and smiled. 

“Good morning, Kihyun,” he said. 

Kihyun pouted as he buried his face in Changkyun's chest again, and Changkyun’s arms tightened around him. 

“Hey. Are you crying? Did I make you upset?” he asked, and his voice was so full of concern that Kihyun’s pout only grew. 

He picked his head back up and shook his head. 

“No, you didn't make me upset. I'm just. Happy.”

Changkyun smiled then, and his light shone brighter. “I'm happy, too. Although, I thought I would get to see you wake up. I'm a bit upset you woke up before me.”

Kihyun suddenly realized he had no idea what he looked like right then. He had just slept in his clothes on Minhyuk's couch. His hair had to be a mess, his breath had to be terrible, and he just knew his eyes were all crusty. 

Kihyun covered up Changkyun’s eyes and hid his face. 

“Shit,” Kihyun whispered. 

“I can't see you if you do that,” Changkyun said, poking the back of Kihyun's hand. 

“I look terrible right now, you've never seen me when I look terrible,” Kihyun said, running his hands through his hair to smooth it down. 

Changkyun frowned before he pulled Kihyun’s hand away. “You've never looked terrible?”

Kihyun groaned and kissed Changkyun’s forehead before he got up. 

“Stop, how can you be that perfect,” he said. 

Changkyun sat up and followed after him, only stopping when Kihyun closed the door to the bathroom. 

“I'm not perfect, though,” came his voice through the door as Kihyun started fumbling through his morning routine. 

When he was moving to brush his teeth, he opened the door again to find Changkyun still waiting there. 

Kihyun smiled as he looked through the medicine cabinet to find his spare toothbrush. 

“You are perfect, though. You just woke up and you don't have a single hair out of place. Do you even sweat?” Kihyun asked. 

“Should I sweat? Would you like it if I did?” Changkyun asked.

Kihyun looked at Changkyun through the mirror for a second before he started brushing his teeth. 

“You actually don't sweat?” he asked. 

Changkyun smiled, chuckling a little. “Well, I’m made of molten plasma most of the time, or so the physicists say.”

“Right. Of course. Actual star,” Kihyun said before he rinsed his mouth out. 

When he turned around, Changkyun was still smiling at him, head leaned against the door frame. 

“You look so pretty,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun laughed a bit, leaning back against the sink. “Wow. Right when I wake up, huh?”

Changkyun hummed. “Is pretty not the right word? Should I use another word?”

Kihyun moved closer and kissed him, and Changkyun sighed against his lips, his hands coming up to grab his hips. 

Kihyun couldn't stop smiling, and he pulled Changkyun closer to him, pulling him into the bathroom. 

“There better not be shenanigans happening in my living room!” Minhyuk yelled down the hall. 

Kihyun pulled away and rolled his eyes. 

“What are shenanigans?” Changkyun whispered. 

Kihyun looked around him to see Minhyuk coming toward them, grinning. 

“Or in my bathroom,” Minhyuk added. 

Kihyun squinted at him before looking back to Changkyun. 

“Shenanigans is a hard one to define. Give me a while to think about it?” Kihyun asked. 

“Okay! That's fine. Good morning, Minhyuk!” Changkyun said as he turned around to greet Minhyuk. Kihyun wrapped his arms around Changkyun and perched his head on his shoulder to glare at Minhyuk. 

“Good morning, starshine. I'm ordering in for breakfast, do you guys want anything?” he asked.

Changkyun turned his head toward Kihyun, pulling away a bit to make sure he didn’t bump into him. 

“What do you have for breakfast?” Changkyun asked. 

“Do stars even need to eat?” Minhyuk asked as he disappeared into the kitchen. 

“That's a good question,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun pulled away from Kihyun but grabbed onto his hand as he followed after Minhyuk curiously. 

“I don't need to consume things to make energy, if that's what you mean,” Changkyun said. 

Minhyuk was standing over the coffee maker and watching it as it poured out coffee into a mug. 

“That’s convenient,” he said. 

“But I like to taste things! Hot chocolate was good!” Changkyun said, turning toward Kihyun again. Kihyun smiled at him and squeezed his hand. 

“I'm glad you like chocolate,” Kihyun said. 

“You didn't say if you wanted me to order you food or not,” Minhyuk reminded him as he popped another mug under the machine and put in another pod. 

“Yeah, just order two of my usual,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun beamed and pulled on Kihyun’s hand, looking at him expectantly. Kihyun leaned in to peck a kiss against his lips, and Changkyun smiled even brighter in response. 

“Right. I'll put the order in. I'm going back to our room to wake Hyungwon up, so that'll be like twenty minutes or so. If the food comes before we’re back,” Minhyuk said.

“I got it, don't worry,” Kihyun said, waving him off. 

“Great. No shenanigans in my apartment, Kihyun, I mean it,” Minhyuk said as he walked back down the hall, two mugs of coffee in his hands. Kihyun frowned at him until he was out of sight. 

“Shenanigans,” Changkyun said slowly, like he was trying the word out in his mouth. 

Kihyun sighed and turned back to him, pulling him into his arms. Changkyun giggled as he hugged him back. 

“Shenanigans can be made to imply a lot of things, but I think its basic definition is nonsense,” Kihyun said. He pulled away a bit from their tight hug and brushed his lips against his jaw. 

“Okay. What is Minhyuk implying then?” Changkyun asked. 

Kihyun could feel his face start to get hot, so he hid it against Changkyun's shoulder. 

“Just. Lots of kissing and touching and stuff,” Kihyun said. 

There was a beat. 

“But I want you to kiss me,” Changkyun said softly. 

So Kihyun did. Kissed him as softly as he could. A brush of their lips together so light, Kihyun barely felt it. 

Changkyun pressed their foreheads together and smiled at him. 

“My Kihyun. I'm so happy. We can do all those things you talked about before! We can go to the ocean and swim, or you could give me all those books you liked, or we can see the mountains!” 

He was pulling away now, bouncing a bit on his feet as he got excited. Kihyun smiled and listened to him, pulling him back toward the couch, so they could sit. 

“Are you going to stay long enough to do all those things?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun huffed. “Of course. I told you I wasn't leaving again.”

“Okay, okay. We can do all that. Lucky for us, I do my job at home,” Kihyun said. 

“Oh, right! Your job! How’s editing going?” Changkyun asked.

Kihyun hummed. “Good. I write sometimes, now.”

“And take pictures? You liked taking pictures,” Changkyun said. 

It was incredible how much Changkyun could remember. And while Kihyun remembered most of their meetings, he knew he didn't remember everything. The memories always came back piece by piece. The first piece was always Changkyun himself, and then everything else would fill in after that. 

“I do. I take them a lot but not for the magazine unless it's for my own articles,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun smiled and cupped his cheek. “I remember the day you took your first photo. I was sleeping and then suddenly a whole chord got added to your song. And then you dreamt about cameras, and I was so happy you found something new you loved.”

Kihyun laughed a bit and tugged Changkyun closer, kissing his cheeks. 

“You remember that? I don't think I do.”

“I remember everything. My memory is infinite,” Changkyun said smugly.

Kihyun sputtered out another laugh. “I didn't know that.”

Changkyun shrugged and wrapped his arms around Kihyun’s shoulders, nuzzling his forehead against his cheek.

“I didn't talk a lot about myself when we met. I'd just ask about you,” he explained. 

Kihyun laid back on the couch and pulled Changkyun down on top of him. Changkyun relaxed there, another happy little sigh escaping his lips. 

He was incredibly light. Like he barely existed at all. 

Kihyun held him tighter to reassure himself that he was there. 

“Would this not count as shenanigans?” Changkyun asked.

Kihyun hummed and kissed the top of his head. “Not the ones Minhyuk was talking about.”

And it's strange to just be talking to him about nothing in particular. They were used to having limited time, so Changkyun was just asking question after question, giving Kihyun only a moment of thought between answering them. They would hold hands and go outside because the weather was always nice when Changkyun came, and Kihyun would talk about everything he had done, even the boring bits because Changkyun ate it all up. 

Sometimes they would spend minutes just kissing, Kihyun holding him tight and wishing that Changkyun didn't have to leave him. 

Time. It wasn’t something Kihyun was used to having just yet. 

“I didn't know you slept,” Kihyun said.

“I do. Not for very long usually. But you were sleeping, and I didn't know what else to do, so I slept,” Changkyun explained. He was pulling at the sleeve of Kihyun's shirt idly as he talked. 

“Why is this time different? Why can you stay longer?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun seemed to freeze at that, but only for a moment. He went back to smoothing out the wrinkles in Kihyun’s shirt. 

“When I came before, I knew I'd have to go back soon. Like a pull. This time I don't feel it. Like I have all the time in the universe,” Changkyun explained. 

Kihyun played with his hair. Let his voice settle into his soul and make him warm from the inside out. 

“Well, you'll tell me if you feel it again?” Kihyun asked.

“Of course,” Changkyun said. 

Someone knocked on the door, and Changkyun pushed himself up, eyes wide and wondering as he looked toward the door. Kihyun smiled as he got up and walked to the door, hearing the soft pad of Changkyun's bare feet behind him as he went to get their food. 

It didn't occur to Kihyun that a glowing man might be strange to a stranger until the door was already open. 

Kihyun turned his head back, eyes frantic, only to find Changkyun standing there like a normal person. Skin slightly bronzed and pinkish. No golden shine. Kihyun let out a relieved sigh as he paid and took their food. 

“You aren't shining,” Kihyun said as he turned back around. 

“Oh. I thought it would be strange for them. Here,” Changkyun said, and then his skin started pouring light again. 

Kihyun laughed. “I didn't know you could. Control it.”

“I can do all sorts of things,” Changkyun said, and his smile was almost mischievous as he walked over to take the bag from Kihyun, holding his head tilted toward him until Kihyun kissed his cheek. 

“Minhyuk! Hyungwon! Food’s here,” Kihyun called as he followed Changkyun to the table. Changkyun put the bag down on it, and then looked up at Kihyun. 

“Should I wait for them to come over here?” Changkyun asked.

“I got it, don't worry,” Kihyun said as he reached over and started unpacking the food, putting all the meals in their designated spots. Changkyun settled in the chair he had been sitting in last night and just watched him as he moved around, putting out plates and cups full of water. 

“Morning,” Hyungwon said as he came down the hall and settled in his chair. 

“Good morning!” Changkyun said. Hyungwon sent him a grin as he started sipping at his water. 

“So you weren't a weird dream. That's nice,” Hyungwon said.

Kihyun sat down next to Changkyun and opened up their to-go boxes.

“What's this?” Changkyun said as he looked down at his food.

“Cheese omelette and potatoes,” Kihyun said before he started eating, watching Changkyun as he poked at his food curiously. 

“Not into consuming things this morning?” Minhyuk asked as he started eating. 

Changkyun blinked up at him. “Oh, that's not it. I just have never tried this before.”

“You chew and then you swallow,” Minhyuk said. 

Kihyun rolled his eyes and smoothed down the hair on the back of Changkyun's head. 

“Go ahead. It's good,” he said. 

Changkyun smiled at him, and he just watched Kihyun for a second. 

“Can you eat it with uour hands?” Changkyun asked as he picked up a potato and popped it in his mouth. 

“Oh, here,” Kihyun said. He grabbed one of the plastic spoons that came with their meals and gave one to him before he went back to eating. 

It was only a few seconds later that Changkyun started eating happily.

“You’ll have to teach me to use chopsticks later,” Changkyun said between bites.

“I will. It's not hard.”

“That's fine. This is good,” Changkyun said, pointing down at his half-eaten omelette. 

“Hey, Ki, how are you going to do things with him? Like. He doesn't have any documentation or anything,” Hyungwon asked. 

Kihyun's heart sank. He had been so happy he hadn’t thought about the practicality of it all. How could he show Changkyun the world if he didn’t legally exist?

“Oh, we don't have to worry about that,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun looked over at him. “We don't?”

Changkyun blinked at him. “I have a birth certificate here.”

“Please, tell me you're joking,” Minhyuk said. 

Changkyun shook his head. “And I have an official ID! But I don't have a driver’s license. I didn't want to take the test.”

“But you...you don't pay taxes. You don't have a job,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun shrugged. “I don't but in their systems, I do. It's not hard to figure it out.” He spooned himself more potatoes before grinning at Kihyun. 

“Doesn't know what a boyfriend is. Can hack government systems. Fantastic,” Hyungwon said. 

Kihyun could only laugh and then smile when Changkyun shined brighter at the noise. 

When they finished breakfast, Kihyun wanted to go home, but Changkyun had taken an interest in all the small knick-knacks that Hyungwon liked to collect, so he held himself back to let him explore. 

“Ki, can I ask you something?” Minhyuk asked softly as he sat next to him on the couch. 

They were both watching Hyungwon explain everything Changkyun asked about with a patient little smile. Kihyun didn't turn to look at Minhyuk. 

“Yeah?”

“You get how crazy this is, right? How weird?”

“Yep.”

“Cool. So. He’s your boyfriend?”

“He is.”

“Have you guys ever...you know?”

That made Kihyun turn to look.

“Seriously?” Kihyun asked, feeling his face flush. 

“I'm just curious,” Minhyuk said with a shrug.

Kihyun huffed and looked away. Face blazing.

“I don't even know if stars are up for  _ shenanigans,”  _ Kihyun said softly. 

“You never thought to ask?”

“About shenanigans?”

Minhyuk sighed. “Yes.”

“How does someone bring that up with an actual literal star?”

“How about bringing it up with your actual literal boyfriend? It’s cool if you guys aren’t into that, but I don’t know. I can see how much you love him, and you get touchy and clingy.”

Kihyun pressed his lips together. “I do not.”

“Hm. Okay well. You know. Good luck with that.”

“Shut up.”

“I can't believe you're blushing.”

“Shut. Up,” Kihyun whispered as he frowned at Minhyuk.

Minhyuk grinned and patted his thigh before he got up to go hug Hyungwon and kiss him on the cheek. 

And here, Kihyun learned that Changkyun could read those social cues rather well. 

Changkyun smiled and thanked Hyungwon before walking away, walking to Kihyun, and settling in the seat next to him. 

“I think it’s about time for us to go,” Changkyun said softly, finding Kihyun’s hand with his own. 

“I think so, too. I need to shower and change. And show you the apartment,” Kihyun said. 

“Let’s go, then,” Changkyun said, instantly standing up and pulling Kihyun with him. 

They said their goodbyes and left, hand-in-hand, smiling at each other. Kihyun kissed him when they got to his car and kissed him again when they got in it. 

They listened to music, and Changkyun stared at the streets passing them by, pointing at things and asking questions. His eyes were all wide, and he couldn’t seem to stop smiling or touching Kihyun, and Kihyun struggled to keep his eyes on the road, so they could make it home safe. 

And with Changkyun so bright and beautiful next to him, finally next to him, Kihyun didn’t think he’d ever look up at the sky again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forgetting was a painless hurt. It hurt to know it was coming. It hurt to remember again. But once it was gone, it just left a hole in his soul.

Kihyun watched as Changkyun precariously climbed on top of his desk at home. It's the nicest piece of furniture Kihyun owns, inherited from his father. It’s wood and probably too big for his small computer room, but it’ll last forever, he’s sure. 

Changkyun’s bare feet are right next to the keyboard of his desktop though, and if it was literally anyone other than Changkyun, Kihyun would’ve screamed. 

But it is. So he doesn't. 

“What are you doing?” Kihyun asked.

Changkyun throws him back a smile before going on the tips of his toes to grab something from the top of the high back of the desk.

“Can't you like fly? Float?” Kihyun asked. He walked up behind him, holding his arms out to catch him in case he falls. 

“I can, but if I'm going to be living here, I need to act as human as possible,” Changkyun says. He turns around, pivots on the ball of one of his feet, and he’s holding a green folder. 

Kihyun frowns. “What is that?”

“Help me down,” Changkyun said, reaching his hands down toward Kihyun. Laughing, Kihyun takes the folder out of his hand and puts it down on the desk before taking Changkyun’s hands. Changkyun squats down before he jumps smoothly and slowly down to the ground and into Kihyun's arms. 

“Humans don’t fall like that,” Kihyun told him before he kissed his cheek. 

“Sorry. I tried. Anyway, here. These are all my records, so you don't have to worry about me being a real person,” Changkyun said, holding the folder out to him. 

Kihyun raised a brow as he took the folder and sat down at his desk chair to look through it. 

Changkyun had been very thorough in his research. 

There was a birth certificate for him, an ID with a photo, his government ID number, his record of enlistment, his employment record, and all of the forms he used to file taxes since he was apparently eighteen years old. 

“Did you…stash this here?” Kihyun asked.

“Where else would I leave it?” Changkyun asked. It was such an innocent question, and somehow it was the only response Kihyun could have gotten. He looked back down at the papers.

“January 26, 1996. Why'd you pick that day?” Kihyun asked. He looked back up at Changkyun to find him smiling fondly.

“Well, the year was the year we first greeted each other. So I picked that. January 26th was the day you gave me my name.”

Suddenly, Kihyun didn't have any questions left at all. 

“Come here,” he said, holding his arms out toward him. In a moment, Changkyun was in them, leaning close to Kihyun's face until Kihyun closed the distance to kiss him. 

They had only just gotten back to Kihyun's apartment. They had walked in, and Changkyun zoomed his way straight here like he knew the place. 

Then Kihyun remembered that he had been there before. Only once, but he had. 

Kihyun remembered that it had been his birthday. Changkyun had come to be his present. They had sat on his living room floor and cried and talked and held hands and kissed. 

That had been almost two years ago now. 

Kihyun pulled Changkyun down into his lap and held him, kissed him harder. Changkyun gasped a bit as he adjusted to it, crawling up into Kihyun's lap and straddling him, opening his mouth a bit to let Kihyun in. 

This was probably the closest they’ve ever been. 

Sure, they had kissed before. But it always felt chaste. Sweet. They barely did more than press their lips against each other.

Kihyun’s hands pressed against his back, and he breathed him in. Sucked softly on his bottom lip for a second before pressing kisses to it again. Changkyun settled his hands on his shoulders, then his neck, then his face, but he never pushed away, seeming to mold against Kihyun, melting there. 

Kihyun pulled away soon after, and Changkyun sighed, eyes fluttering open before he smiled at him. 

“I don't have very much to compare it to, but I think you’re a very talented kisser,” Changkyun said. 

Laughing, Kihyun knocked their foreheads together. 

“I still need to shower,” Kihyun said. 

“Okay! What should I do while you do that?” Changkyun asked. 

“Oh. Um. You don't have to do anything. But if you want to watch something on TV or read, I can put something on.”

“Sounds good.” Then he stuck out his cheek toward Kihyun politely. Kihyun smiled as he pushed a hair behind his ear and kissed his cheek. 

Changkyun pulsed brighter as he slid back and off of Kihyun's lap, his hands finding Kihyun’s and squeezing them. 

Kihyun put on Iron Man because he might as well catch him up, and then hurried to the bathroom to shower as quickly as possible. 

Every second he spent in another room, he had an aching worry in his gut. That in the next moment he would forget him. That he'd been gone too long and the memory would leave him, and he’d have to go through the entire process again. 

Forgetting was a painless hurt. It hurt to know it was coming. It hurt to remember again. But once it was gone, it just left a hole in his soul. A void that he knows is empty, but he’s not sure how to fill. A void so deep it manifested in cold hands and cold toes and a strange feeling every time he looked up at the sky. Not fully in this world. Not fully a part of it because a part of him was galaxies away, glimmering. 

If Changkyun said he’d never forget again, he wanted to believe it as he toweled off and got dressed before he hurried back toward the living room. 

Frowning at the television, Changkyun seemed thoroughly concerned. 

“I don't think I like this,” Changkyun said softly. 

“Really? It's really popular,” Kihyun said as he sat down next to him. 

“Is this what you did when you were gone those two years?” Changkyun said, pointing at the television. 

Kihyun looked. Tony was a prisoner of war. Oh. 

“Oh, no. I never went abroad with my duty. I was in the band. I only ever shot at targets during training,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun still frowned. “People like to watch this? But they’re suffering. Humans suffer when they see suffering.”

“I promise it gets better. But every movie has at least some adversity, or there wouldn't be a story.”

“I thought television was just a bunch of pictures,” Changkyun muttered. Kihyun laughed a bit as he kissed his cheek again and wrapped his arm around him. 

“I mean, it kind of is? But it's a story. At least you want it to be. Most people find just watching pictures boring. But if you don't like it, I can turn it off.”

Changkyun tucked closer to him, laying his head on his shoulder and wrapping his arms around Kihyun’s middle. 

“Do you like this movie?” he asked. 

“I do.”

“Then we’ll watch it. I need to learn more about humans anyway,” Changkyun said. 

It was probably the first time Kihyun didn't actually watch Iron Man. He spent the entire movie watching Changkyun. The way his nose would scrunch up whenever someone would get hurt. The way he'd giggle a few seconds after a joke. The way he looked betrayed by the villain. And then the smile he had whenever Tony and Pepper were interacting. 

“Maybe that was fun. I wish there were more,” Changkyun said as the credits rolled. 

Kihyun snorted. “There’s actually about twenty more movies about Iron Man and his...friends.”

Changkyun’s eyes widened as he sat up to look at him. 

“Really?”

“Really. We can watch them all if you want.”

Changkyun grinned. “Yes, please. But you need to eat soon, don’t you?”

“Are you keeping track of how much time has passed, or do you just know?” Kihyun asked.

Changkyun smiled shyly before burying his face in his shoulder. “You’re supposed to eat like...every four hours at least.”

“Right.”

“Can you teach me to cook? That’ll give me something to do since I'll just be here all the time.”

“You’re not a housewife. You can get a job or do things. I'm not going to keep you locked up,” Kihyun said.

“Housewife?”

Kihyun hummed as he thought. “It’s like. Back in the day the wife was expected to stay at home and cook and clean and take care of children. They called them housewives. Wives that took care of the house.”

“And it's a bad thing?”

Kihyun couldn't believe he had to get into feminist theory on the first full day that Changkyun was here, but he guessed they'd get there eventually anyway, getting up to go cook himself some ramen. 

“It's only a bad thing when it's an expectation and not a choice. I’m saying that you have a choice on what you want.”

“Oh. Well, I just want to be with you all the time, but I don't think I can just do that. And I already have a job technically.”

“Technically.”

Kihyun got everything ready to make ramen, setting the pot to boil. He noticed that Changkyun was watching everything carefully. 

“I just want to make life easier for you since you make mine better,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun puts the knife he was about to cut vegetables with down. 

“Say that again?” he asked. 

Changkyun smiled and walked up behind him to wrap his arms around him and put his chin on his shoulder. 

“You make my life better? You do. You add the prettiest music to it,” he said. 

Leaning his head against Changkyun's, he picked up the knife again. 

“Well, you add warmth to mine.”

Changkyun giggled, and it was bright. Always so bright. He nuzzled his nose against Kihyun’s cheek. 

“I love you,” he said softly.

And then Kihyun really did melt. Warm from the inside out. He sighed and cut his vegetables slowly, so Changkyun could watch and learn. 

“I love you, too.”

Stars never broke promises. 

When they had been younger, Changkyun had promised that the day they could stay together would come. He didn't know when, just that it would come. 

Kihyun was ecstatic even though he didn't know what to do with his happiness. They would be sitting talking, and then Kihyun would just pull him in and kiss him. 

Changkyun always melted. The glow around him would flicker and waver with his sighs as he let Kihyun kiss him. 

They had slept together that first night, and then they didn't sleep at all the second night, just talking and making plans and watching through the Marvel movies because Changkyun needed to know what happened. 

But now they were both tired, and crashing together on the couch felt easy and right, but now that Kihyun was staring at his bed in his room, suddenly he was faced with reality. 

Sharing a bed was intimate, and Kihyun didn't have problems with intimacy. Not with Changkyun. Not with the only being in the universe that probably knew more about him than he himself did.

But when he glanced over at Changkyun, he didn't know if it meant the same thing to him. 

Intimacy. Baring your soul to another and trusting that they’d cup it in their hands and tell you it’s beautiful. 

And if Kihyun closed his eyes he could still point to the spot in the sky that Changkyun had come from, and tell you that his laugh made his heart soar and that his smile felt like the sun, but he didn’t know if stars thought sleeping in each other’s arms was the most vulnerable thing you could do with someone. 

He didn’t know if Changkyun knew what them sharing a bed implied to the rest of humanity. And if he did, Changkyun never brought it up. Never talked about the flush that would spread across Kihyun whenever Changkyun would lean both of his palms high up on Kihyun's thighs and turn his cheek to ask to be kissed. 

Changkyun who knew how the universe moved but didn't know the difference between a friend and a boyfriend. 

“Um. I can sleep on the couch if you want,” Kihyun said after a moment of staring at his mattress. 

“You don't usually sleep on the couch,” Changkyun said. 

Of course, he knew. He could see him when Kihyun dreamed. 

“I know, but. If you don’t want to share--”

“I share everything with you now,” Changkyun said. A pause. “Or you share everything with me, I guess. We share.”

Kihyun laughed a bit. “Okay. Okay. You’re right. Do you get cold when you sleep?” 

“I don't get cold ever. Cold for a star could mean death,” Changkyun said. 

That word stuttered through Kihyun’s chest. Death. He had said it so carefully, wincing his way through it. Like he realized he shouldn't be saying it halfway through. 

“Oh. Um. Right. Stars live for a very long time, though,” Kihyun said as he walked over to pull back the comforter. 

“We do. Lifetimes for you,” Changkyun said, padding softly behind him. 

Kihyun cleared his throat.

“And you're not…”

“Kihyun, of course not. I still have billions of years left,” Changkyun said. He laughed a little. 

Kihyun smiled. “Billions, huh?”

“I’m a tiny star. Tiny stars live longer. And I'm still a baby, really. Haven't been around very long at all.” 

Changkyun hovered next to the bed, waiting. Kihyun got in bed, and Changkyun got in right next to him, leaving no room between them. 

“How about we spoon or something?” Kihyun asked, staring up at the ceiling, at the window, anywhere but right at Changkyun. 

“Spoon? What would we have to eat?” Changkyun asked.

Giggling, Kihyun sat up. 

“No, sorry. Different kind of spoon,” Kihyun said. 

“Oh.”

“Here, lay on your side facing this way--”

“Why are you turning away from me?” Changkyun asked with a pout. Kihyun smiled and kissed his nose.

“Just trust me.”

Changkyun turned, and then Kihyun turned, settling back against Changkyun's chest. He pulled Changkyun's arm around him and held it to his chest. 

Changkyun responded by squeezing him closer. 

“Okay, I like this. Spoon,” Changkyun said, rubbing the tip of his nose into the spot behind Kihyun's ear. Kihyun turned his head to kiss him, brushing his lips against his cheek. 

“Spooning. I like it, too,” Kihyun said softly. 

Changkyun smiled and tucked his legs up behind Kihyun's knees, curling both of them up. He still held him against him, hand warm against the center of Kihyun’s chest through the thin t-shirt Kihyun was wearing. 

“What do I do with my other arm?” Changkyun asked. 

“Oh, most people put it under their head, or something. Don't put it under me because I don't want to make your arm go all numb.”

“Oh, because of the blood vessels getting pressure put on them.”

Kihyun laughed. “Yes. Exactly.”

Changkyun shifted around behind him for a moment before settling again. 

“Good night, Kihyun,” Changkyun whispered against his hair. 

“Good night, Changkyun,” Kihyn answered, finally letting his eyes close. 

And maybe it was because he was so comfortable in his arms, and because it wasn't too hot or too cold, or maybe it was because his lack of sleep finally caught up to him, but Kihyun fell right asleep in his arms, feeling safer than maybe he ever had. 

Waking up felt sweeter. Before, Kihyun would bury himself in his pillows and will himself to try to sleep longer. 

Now, he actually felt well-rested. Like sleeping more would be a waste of time. He opened his eyes and looked down to see that Changkyun had secured his arm around his waist like he never planned on letting go. 

Kihyun smiled. He hoped he wouldn't. 

He arched his back a bit to stretch before turning around to find Changkyun fast asleep. 

Precious. 

He leaned in to kiss Changkyun's cheek, and he stirred, wrapping his arm tighter around Kihyun. 

“Good morning,” Kihyun said softly before he kissed the side of Changkyun's mouth. 

Eyes fluttering open, Changkyun broke out into a smile. He pursed his lips out and Kihyun kissed him again.

It was adorable how Changkyun never pulled away first from a kiss. He’d stay there until Kihyun pulled away. Until Kihyun needed to breathe. 

“Good morning,” Changkyun said softly, voice deeper from sleep. 

Kihyun smiled and straightened out his bangs. 

“I have to work on an article today,” Kihyun said.

“Am I making you late?” Changkyun asked, starting to pull away. 

Something panicked inside Kihyun, and he threw himself forward, wrapping his arms around Changkyun’s shoulders. 

“No, it’s fine. I'm not late,” Kihyun said, burying his face in Changkyun's neck. Changkyun laughed and pulled him with him as he laid back. 

Kihyun froze. 

He didn’t know why he was so self-conscious about the fact that they were both only wearing t-shirts and boxers, but maybe it had to do with the fact that he hadn’t been this close to anyone before, let alone a boyfriend.

“When do you need to get up, then?” Changkyun asked.

Kihyun swallowed. 

Changkyun wasn’t thinking about that. He just wanted to be close to Kihyun, he had said. 

“I usually get up at latest eleven, and it’s...eight now,” Kihyun said.

Changkyun hummed, his hands running up and down Kihyun’s back. 

“Can we stay like this a little longer then?” Changkyun asked. 

Kihyun nodded. “Yeah. We can.”

“Can you kiss me again?” Changkyun asked. 

Now that Kihyun would never say no to. He leaned down and pressed their lips together. Changkyun sighed again, always sighing against him, and he got all bright. 

Giggling, Kihyun kissed him over and over again, lots of little pecks. 

Changkyun’s hands settled on Kihyun’s hips, squeezing them gently. 

Changkyun couldn't kiss first, but he could touch. His thumbs brushed up under Kihyun's shirt and touched the skin above his waistband. 

Again, Kihyun froze, lips barely brushed against Changkyun's. 

Then Changkyun’s hands traveled up just a bit more, grabbing at his sides. 

“What are you doing?” Kihyun whispered. 

Changkyun looked up at him, tilting his head. 

“Touching you?” he asked. 

Kihyun licked his lips. “Yes, but--”

“Do you not want me to?” Changkyun asked, and then he moved his hands away. Kihyun cleared his throat.

“I. I do, but you’ve never touched me like that before.”

“Like what?”

Kihyun felt himself flush. 

“Like. Well.”

Changkyun watched him, a small smile breaking on his face. He slid his hands under Kihyun’s shirt again, squeezing at his sides. 

“Like this?” he asked softly. 

Kihyun’s breath left him.

“Are you going to kiss me again?” Changkyun asked, his nose brushing against Kihyun's. 

Kihyun tilted. 

He had turned into a planet, and Changkyun was his sun. He kissed him again, but it wasn’t just a peck or even a few pecks. He kissed him like he meant it. Like he wanted to give him a piece of himself. 

Changkyun moaned against him, his lips moving gently against his. 

His hands were curious against Kihyun. He measured the length of his sides with his hands, pinky to thumb, pinky to thumb. 

And when his thumb traced over Kihyun’s nipples, Kihyun gasped soft against Changkyun, and that made Chagnkyun pull away. 

“Sorry. Did that hurt?” Changkyun asked, his hands moving back down. He looked genuinely concerned. 

Kihyun shook his head, trying hard to not laugh. “No, I was just surprised.”

“Oh. Good surprise?” Changkyun asked.

Kihyun licked his lips. “Yeah,” he whispered. 

Changkyun watched him as he slowly slid his fingers back up to brush against Kihyun's nipples again. His eyes sparkled a bit when Kihyun gasped again. 

“Oh, my God,” Kihyun said softly. 

“You know, I tried really hard to learn everything I could about humans for you,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun reached up to touch Changkyun’s face. His cheeks were glowing pink. Was that a blush?

“You did a good job,” Kihyun said.

“It’s just. There’s a few things I couldn't learn, you know,” Changkyun said. He brushed his thumbs up the center of Kihyun's chest. 

Kihyun’s eyes widened. And then he panicked. He rolled off of Changkyun and sat up. 

“Oh, my God,” Kihyun said. He pulled the blankets up over his lower body and held them in place.

“I’m sorry! Did I say something wrong?” Changkyun asked, sitting up, too.

“No! I just. I got flustered. You didn’t...say anything wrong,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun pouted. “Did you not like it then?”

Kihyun took a deep breath. “I just. Sometimes humans need time to get ready for…that.”

“Oh. Okay! I can wait then,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun looked at him. He was smiling again, totally unaffected. 

“We are talking about the same thing, right? Because if you’re not talking about what I think you are, I'm going to die of embarrassment,” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun frowned and touched Kihyun’s face. “Don’t joke about that,” he said softly. 

Kihyun laughed a bit and took Changkyun's hand and kissed it. “Alright. But that doesn't answer my question.”

“Oh. I’m talking about sex.” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun shut his eyes. Well, at least they were thinking about the same thing. 

It didn't make Kihyun any less embarrassed, though.

“Or, well. And your body. I've never seen all of it, you know,” Changkyun said. 

“Okay, well, we will do all of that, I promise,” Kihyun said, finally turning to look at him. 

Changkyun  _ twinkled.  _

“Whenever you want!” he said.

He really would be the death of him, wouldn’t he?

Kihyun kissed his cheek before getting out of bed. “I’m going to make breakfast.”

“Okay. I’ll come with you,” Changkyun said, getting up and grabbing onto the back of Kihyun's shirt. 

“You know, I didn't think you’d want to have sex,” Kihyun mused. 

“Why? It’s the closest we can get to each other physically and emotionally,” Changkyun said. 

“Oh.”

“And the way you’ve dreamt about it--”

“I’m going to stop you there,” Kihyun said before he scurried out of the room, leaving Changkyun giggling after him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home had always been far away, but now home had his arms around him.

Living with Changkyun was surprisingly easy. He didn’t change Kihyun’s routine much at all. He just orbited him. Helped him around the house, watched television, went out with him whenever Kihyun needed to do anything. They spent their spare time cuddling on the couch or in bed and catching Changkyun up on everything he had missed out on from not living on earth. 

Kihyun kissed him whenever he could. Whenever Changkyun so much as tilted toward him. To greet him good morning and wish him good night. To say hello whenever he rounded a corner. To say goodbye whenever he walked to the next room. 

Changkyun didn’t leave, and Kihyun still couldn’t believe it, but he was happy. It was easy for them to be together. The only thing that had made their relationship hard before was distance. Now distance didn’t exist. 

“Minhyuk and Hyungwon were wondering if they could come over this weekend,” Kihyun said. He looked down to where Changkyun was laying in his lap. He blinked up at him. 

“I like them,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun grinned. “I know, but is it okay if they come over?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know. I thought I’d ask if it was okay with you.”

“But it’s your apartment.”

“Our apartment,” Kihyun corrected. 

The light coming from Changkyun seemed to brighten as he smiled. 

“Right. Our apartment. Well, Minhyuk and Hyungwon can come whenever they like,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun brushed Changkyun’s hair out of his face before he texted Minhyuk back to tell them they could come over. 

“Which reminds me we need to get you your own stuff,” Kihyun said. 

“My own stuff? Like what?”

“A cell phone. Maybe a laptop if you want. Clothes even though I never see you wearing my things,” Kihyun said. 

“I make my own clothes!”

“I can see that, but I have no idea where they come from.”

Changkyun shrugged. “The same way I made myself look this way instead of...like a star.”

“I don’t know how that works either,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun sighed and splayed out like he was utterly exhausted. Kihyun laughed and poked at his cheek. 

“I’m just a human, remember? We don’t know much about the universe,” he said. 

“Ugh, I know. Okay,” Changkyun said as he sat up and looked at Kihyun. As he paused to gather his thoughts, Kihyun leaned in and kissed him. 

Changkyun seemed surprised for a moment, but then he closed his eyes and kissed back, his hand coming up to cup Kihyun’s cheek. 

It was incredible how Changkyun would drop everything for a kiss. Someone else might have pushed Kihyun away until they were done making their point. Someone else might have whined about being distracted. 

Not Changkyun. Changkyun took all the kisses given to him eagerly. Like each one was a precious gift that he didn’t intend on wasting. No matter how many Kihyun gave him. 

Kihyun giggled against him before he pulled away and watched as Changkyun bit his lip after like he was trying to recreate the feeling of their lips together for a moment longer. 

“It's not fair. What if I wanted to kiss you longer?” he asked. 

“Tell me what you were going to say, and I’ll kiss you again,” Kihyun said. 

Still cupping his cheek, Changkyun traced his cheekbone with his thumb. 

“Stars are powerful souls,” Changkyun said. 

“Souls? Not balls of gas and energy?”

Changkyun scoffed. “Well also that. But humans can’t throw their souls around. You can't stretch your soul out to the universe or make it tinier than a speck.”

“So what you're saying is that you’re still up in the universe somewhere, and this is just your soul?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun pouted and grabbed Kihyun's face with both hands. “I’m not anywhere. I am right here. And you owe me a kiss.”

Grinning, Kihyun moved closer, watching Changkyun let his eyes fall closed. 

“But your answers make no sense,” Kihyun said softly, lips only a few centimeters away from Changkyun’s. 

Changkyun’s eyes opened. 

“They make complete sense. You just refuse to understand,” he said. 

“And what am I refusing to understand?”

Changkyun whined and dropped his hands into his lap, giving Kihyun the best puppy eyes he could manage. 

“I can make myself look like anything. I made myself look this way because this is what you like the most and what you--”

Changkyun shut his mouth, eyes staring around Kihyun like he was looking at something that wasn't there. Kihyun frowned. 

“Changkyun?” Kihyun reached up and brushed his knuckles against his cheek. “What is it?”

Changkyun blinked and focused in on his face again. 

For a moment, Kihyun saw it. How serious his features had been. But then they softened into a pout again. 

“My kiss,” Changkyun said softly. 

It was strange and eerie, but Kihyun shook the feeling off. He leaned in and kissed him softly. 

“I get it. You make yourself look however you want, so you make yourself clothed,” Kihyun said. 

“Exactly. It'd be strange for everyone if I just appeared naked out of the sky. Or so you taught me.”

Kihyun shut his eyes and leaned back against the couch. 

“Why would you bring that up?”

“We were children! How was I supposed to know?”

“If you had been watching me, wouldn't you have seen me not be naked?”

“Look, all I knew was that I wanted to introduce myself to you. You were calling me yours every night, I didn't think you'd find it strange if I just showed up,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun laughed as he looked back over at Changkyun. 

“Come here,” Kihyun said, holding his arms open for him. Changkyun leaned into him, against him, and Kihyun held him close. 

“You’re still mine,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun beamed, light filling up the entire room. 

“And you're still mine,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun pulled him closer and kissed him again, determined to kiss Changkyun for longer this time. 

“You’ve been here a month now, right?” Minhyuk asked Changkyun. They were settled down around Kihyun’s dinner table, serving themselves the fried chicken that Hyungwon and Minhyuk had brought. 

“Yep!” Changkyun said. His and Kihyun’s chairs were still awkwardly pushed next to each other even though Changkyun figured out chopsticks after twenty minutes of trying. Changkyun didn’t push Kihyun away, and Kihyun always wanted to be close to him, so they never minded. 

“And how are you liking it, starshine?” Minhyuk asked. 

Changkyun laughed a bit at the nickname. “I like it so far. Although we haven’t had time to explore a lot, but that’s fine. I like Marvel movies.”

“That’s good. Very human of you,” Hyungwon said. 

“We can travel when I have a vacation next,” Kihyun said as he served himself. 

“Do you have a passport, too?” Hyungwon asked Changkyun. 

“Yep! But I want to see more of Korea first before going anywhere else. I haven’t even seen much of Seoul,” Changkyun said. 

“You don’t take him out of the house?” Minhyuk asked.

“Of course I do. We go shopping, we go on dates--”

“I like dates,” Changkyun added between bites of chicken. 

“Oh, so he’s not awkward with you like he was with--” 

Kihyun kicked Minhyuk under the table as hard as he could manage, making Minhyuk instantly shut up as he groaned. 

“With what?” Changkyun asked, turning to look at Kihyun with his big curious eyes. 

If Kihyun could have snapped Minhyuk’s neck with his eyes at that moment, he probably would have. Because he always answered Changkyun’s questions as well as he could. As honestly as he could. And he just hoped that  _ that _ would just never come up. 

But Changkyun asked.

Kihyun poked at his chicken and cleared his throat. 

“There was just someone I went on a few dates with once. It’s not that big of a deal,” Kihyun said. He glanced at Changkyun from the corner of his eye to try to gauge his reaction. 

“You had another boyfriend?” Changkyun asked. 

Kihyun shut his eyes, remembering his own words:  _ Dates are things you do with your boyfriend. It’s like a special boyfriend hang out time. _

“Well, Hyunwoo never really was a boyfriend,” Hyungwon said. 

“Hyunwoo,” Changkyun repeated. 

Kihyun looked at Changkyun. “People also go on dates to see if they would maybe one day like to be boyfriends. I went on a few with Hyunwoo, and we both decided that we definitely should not be boyfriends.”

Changkyun didn’t seem bothered by any of this even though Kihyun was mildly freaking out. 

“Okay,” he said, nodding a bit. He took another bite of chicken and wiggled a bit in place at the taste. 

“You hadn’t had the past relationship talk?” Minhyuk asked. 

“There aren’t past relationships to talk about,” Kihyun gritted out. 

“I would’ve known if you had fallen in love,” Changkyun said. 

That brought the table to a halt. 

“You would have?” Hyungwon asked. 

Changkyun nodded and waved over Kihyun. “I would’ve heard it. You can’t just fall in love without changing your song at least a little.”

“Right. Songs,” Minhyuk said. 

“Like you and Hyungwon,” Changkyun said with a smile. 

“Well, definitely in love with only you, so no song altering there,” Kihyun said. 

“Oh, God, it’s blinding,” Hyungwon groaned as he turned his head away and covered his eyes. 

Kihyun looked over to see that Changkyun was, indeed, glowing bright and happy. He forgot other people were more sensitive to it than him. That his home couldn’t hurt him, but he wasn’t everyone’s home. 

“Oh, sorry! I’m used to not caring at home,” Changkyun said. And then a second later, he wasn’t glowing at all. Skin bronze and pink like any other human except just a bit more pretty. Shimmery. 

“So dates?” Minhyuk asked. 

Kihyun glared at him. 

“We go to eat a lot. We went to a cafe with dogs and another one with cats. We go on walks!” Changkyun started listing off. 

“Sounds like your fitting in nicely,” Minhyuk said. 

“Being human isn’t very complicated,” Changkyun said as he finished up his food. 

Kihyun laughed a bit before he took Changkyun’s and his empty plate to go put them in the sink. 

“What are we going to watch today, then?” Hyungwon asked. 

“Changkyun was wanting to watch Black Panther again,” Kihyun said. 

“I’m down,” Minhyuk said. 

“Cool. I’ll go put it on,” Changkyun said. He got up and walked over to the living room, and Kihyun stayed in the kitchen to get them something to drink. 

“You seem really happy,” Minhyuk said. 

Kihyun turned to look at him and grinned. 

“I am.”

“Good. I’m glad your long distance boyfriend you never told me about finally got to move in.”

Kihyun snorted and handed Minhyuk an empty cup before walking past him to go find his seat next to Changkyun. 

“They should come over more,” Changkyun said as he settled into bed. 

“You can tell them, you know. You have their numbers,” Kihyun said as he got into bed next to him. 

“Right! I’ll do that in the morning.”

“You guys can hang out whenever you want.”

“That sounds nice,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun watched as Changkyun settled down on his side and held an arm up for him. Facing him, Kihyun laid down and kissed his nose. 

“Do you have friends I should meet?” Kihyun asked. 

It was mainly a joke, but Changkyun seemed to flush. Cheeks glowing bright. 

“Oh. Do you want to meet my friends?” he asked carefully. 

“Wait. Of course I do! Are they stars too?”

Changkyun draped his arm around Kihyun and rubbed up and down his back. 

“Well, yes. They've never been to Earth before, but they've listened to me talk about it for a while now. Maybe they'll be curious enough to come.”

“Do they know about me?” Kihyun asked. 

“Of course! You gave them their names!”

Kihyun froze. Changkyun slammed his mouth shut. 

“I did what?”

“Okay, well, not really. They wanted human names after you gave me mine, so the next time I saw you I asked for names you liked, and I took those and told them, and they picked some.”

Kihyun tried to hide his smile. “Stars don’t have names?”

“We do, but not in any language you would understand.”

“Try me.”

Changkyun stopped for a moment before he pushed himself up and leaned down close next to Kihyun's ear. He hadn't expected it to be quiet, but Kihyun closed his eyes to listen anyway. 

And then it wasn’t like listening at all. 

It was like someone was plucking at strings inside his body. Inside his soul. Kihyun gasped and grasped onto Changkyun’s arms. 

Changkyun pulled away, concern etching his features as he looked over Kihyun's expression

Kihyun swallowed. 

“W-what did you say?” Kihyun asked, trying to seem like he was fine. 

“My name,” Changkyun said. He brushed Kihyun's hair back out of his face. 

Frustration filled Kihyun up. There wasn't anything for him to mimic. He would've broken his tongue trying to pronounce Changkyun’s actual name, but there was nothing for his mouth to do. 

“It isn’t...you didn't talk,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun smiled a bit sadly. Kept playing with his hair. 

“Stars don't talk. We sing, and we play, and we listen to the songs of others.”

Their songs. The thing that makes up their souls, according to Changkyun. 

“So you…” Kihyun started, not fully grasping it. 

“I played my song using your song. Stars can just listen to each other, but you can't hear it, so I had to do that,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun frowned. “I can't learn it.”

Changkyun frowned back. “You don't need to, though.”

“But you learned--”

“It was easy for me. It's impossible for you,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun pouted. “But--”

“Hey, don't look sad. Don't be sad. It's okay. It wouldn't be good if you could,” Changkyun said, pressing his forehead against Kihyun's. 

It was times like this that Kihyun could see how much it pained Changkyun to not be able to kiss him. How he would get so close and stop and something sad would enter his eyes. 

So Kihyun kissed him to make it go away, even if it was just a little peck. 

“It wouldn't be good?” Kihyun asked. 

“No. Humans aren't made to listen to songs for a reason. It'd be too loud and overwhelming.”

“Oh.”

“Kiss me again?” Changkyun asked. 

Kihyun sighed against his lips before leaning in again. 

Changkyun moaned, catching Kihyun off-guard. Changkyun wrapped his arms around Kihyun's neck and pulled him closer. Opening his mouth, he begged a bit. Begged for Kihyun to kiss him more. 

So Kihyun did. 

He rolled on top of Changkyun, licked into his mouth, hooking his arms under Changkyun's shoulders to hold him against him. 

Changkyun moaned again and kissed back, his legs spreading to cage around Kihyun's hips. 

It had been a month, and they still hadn't done more than make out just like this. On top of each other and close and needy but not needy enough. 

Kihyun figured that stars had a patience that was unfathomable to humans. He never got annoyed or upset whenever Kihyun pulled away and apologized for not being ready yet. He just smiled and stuck his cheek out to be kissed and held him. 

He pulled away and looked down at Changkyun, started kissing all over his face. 

“Do you...want to try something?” Kihyun asked softly. 

Changkyun looked up at him. He wriggled. “Try what?”

Kihyun felt everything go hot. He glanced away for a moment. 

“Touching each other?” 

Changkyun bit his lip. His hands slid down Kihyun's body, and then slid back up under his shirt. Kihyun sighed before he pulled his shirt off over his head. 

Changkyun stopped then. His fingers spread across Kihyun's stomach, touching and feeling every inch of it he could reach. 

Kihyun just watched. Watched as Changkyun traced every line and curve of his upper body with his fingers and eyes. He tried to not pull away from the light touches, the tickling touches, as he skimmed over his chest and collarbone and neck.

“You’re so beautiful,” Changkyun said softly. 

Kihyun's heart clenched in his chest before he leaned down to kiss Changkyun again, slow and gentle like his hands were on him.

Changkyun’s hands stayed on his chest for a moment as they kissed before they slid down again to hold his hips. 

Kihyun reached down and tugged at Changkyun’s shirt, trying to pull it up, but then it just disappeared in his hands. 

Pulling away, Kihyun looked down to see that the shirt was just gone. Changkyun blushed. 

“I thought it'd be easier if it just...went away,” he said. 

But Kihyun was busy looking at him. He had never seen Changkyun without a shirt before. 

“Kihyun?” Changkyun asked. 

Kihyun looked up at him and kissed him again, kissing down to his jaw and then his neck. Changkyun trembled, the light around him quivered, and his hands squeezed against Kihyun's body. 

“I wanna kiss every bit of you,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun laughed a bit, breathless. 

“Kiss me then,” Changkyun said. 

And Kihyun did. Traced his lips down to his chest and peppered kisses there. Kissed his sternum like the holy plane it was, and softly brushed against his nipples to get him to squirm. 

Changkyun got giggly. Squirmed when Kihyun brushed against his skin too lightly and would touch his hand to the places as if to soothe it back to normal. 

When Kihyun kissed at his hip bones though, Changkyun went still as fallen snow. 

“Can...can I see you?” Kihyun asked. His hands hesitated against the shorts Changkyun was wearing. 

Changkyun let out a sigh. 

“Yes.”

He didn't make them disappear this time. He let Kihyun hook his fingers under his waistband and pull them down. 

But Kihyun didn't look. Not really. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips against the spot right below Changkyun's belly button, mouthing his way down until he was kissing the hair beneath his belly. And then he looked up. 

Changkyun’s lip was between his teeth, and he was still but if his light was a heartbeat, it was pounding. 

“Changkyun?” Kihyun asked. He was checking in, giving him time to stop this. But Changkyun looked determined. So happily determined. 

“I love you,” Changkyun said softly. 

Kihyun smiled. “I love you too.”

And then the fabric in his hands became nothing. 

He still kept his eyes on Changkyun’s. He touched his thighs first, kneaded them gently as he moved his hands further and further up. 

Changkyun didn't moan. He whimpered. He let his legs fall further apart under Kihyun's touch and tried to hold back his noises for some godforsaken reason. 

Kihyun pressed his thumbs against the junction of his thigh and his groin for a moment before he looked down and gently grabbed at Changkyun's already hard cock. 

Changkyun melted then, his tense shoulders relaxing into the mattress under him. 

“Kihyun,” he whispered out. 

Kihyun stroked him slowly, gauging his reactions. Did he seem to like it when he touched like this or this or this. 

With the way Changkyun gripped into the sheets beneath him, Kihyun figured he liked it a lot. 

“Does it feel good?” Kihyun asked softly, pressing kisses to his inner thighs. 

“Yes. Really good,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun moved his hand quicker, squeezed harder. He wondered for a moment if stars could come. 

He got his answer a few moments later when Changkyun’s voice petered out, and the strings of his soul started getting plucked again. 

He had no idea what Changkyun was trying to tell him, but it left him breathless. It felt like he was playing an entire orchestra inside of him. 

He didn't understand, but he didn't really have to. He understood how it made him feel. Everything swelling up inside his chest, warm and full. It felt like watching fireworks for the first time, radiant and explosive and shocking. 

By the time it stopped, Changkyun was panting, and there was a mess all over him, and Kihyun still had his hand wrapped around him. 

“Oh, my God,” Kihyun whispered out. 

Changkyun covered up his face, and he was shining so bright that the whole room lit up. 

“Yeah,” Changkyun breathed out. 

Kihyun laughed a bit and rubbed his thumb up the underside of his softening cock. Changkyun whined again. 

“Sorry,” Kihyun said. He kissed the inside of Changkyun’s thigh again. 

“That felt so good,” Changkyun said. His breath was steadying out, and he was looking at Kihyun now. 

“I could tell. What were you saying?” Kihyun asked. He brushed his lips lightly over his cock curiously and watched Changkyun twitch a bit from the contact.

“I was...just talking,” Changkyun said. He reached down and combed back Kihyun’s hair. 

“About?”

“You.”

Kihyun smiled. “I need to clean you up.”

“Oh, I got it,” Changkyun said with a wave. He sat up and wiped down his stomach, and Kihyun winced a bit, but then it was just gone. Nowhere to be found. 

“Um, that's cool?” Kihyun said. 

“Yeah. Can I touch you now?” Changkyun asked. 

Kihyun was still between his legs, looking up at him.

“Oh. Yeah. If you want,” Kihyun said. 

“I do.”

Kihyun pushed himself up and kissed Changkyun. “Do you want me to lay down?”

“Take these off first,” Changkyun said, tugging at the bottom of Kihyun’s pants. 

Kihyun laughed and kissed him again. “You know, most people are exhausted after coming,” he said. 

Changkyun frowned at him. “Come from where?.”

“No, I mean. Orgasming.” Kihyun shut his eyes. He really couldn't believe he was explaining this. 

“Oh. Okay! Yeah, I'm fine, but I wanna try now.” Changkyun smiled. His light had dimmed back to normal, and he kept tugging on Kihyun's pants. 

“Alright, just. Wait,” Kihyun said as he shimmied out of his underwear and shorts. He was naked for only a moment before Changkyun’s hands were on him, one on the back of his neck, and the other around his dick. 

Changkyun pulled him close, pressing their foreheads together. 

“Kiss me too?” Changkyun asked softly. 

“Fuck,” Kihyun whispered before he kissed him. Changkyun moaned against him as he started stroking Kihyun, copying the movements that Kihyun had made earlier. 

The world went quiet in Kihyun's head. He grabbed at Changkyun's sides and kissed him.

It felt strange to have someone else’s hands on him, touching him in ways that made him gasp. 

Changkyun would stop to just feel him in his hand for a while, weigh him in his palm like Kihyun would weigh fruit in the supermarket. 

Kihyun laughed. 

“What are you doing?” he asked. 

“Oh, does it hurt?” Changkyun asked, already pulling his hand away. Kihyun grabbed his wrist and stopped him.

“If it ever hurts, I'll tell you, and it definitely does not hurt. I was just wondering,” Kihyun said. 

“Oh,” Changkyun said softly. He grabbed onto him again and brushed his thumb against the head. Kihyun bit his lip and put his head against Changkyun's shoulder. 

“I've never touched you before, so I'm just. Feeling. Figuring it out.”

“It,” Kihyun snorted. 

Changkyun laughed a bit. His fingers scratched at the back of his head. 

“It being touching you. I know how a penis works,” Changkyun said.

“Ugh, don't say penis.”

“But I'm literally touching your penis. We’re talking about it.”

“Can you go back to getting me off again please?” Kihyun asked. 

“Is that what you call this?” Changkyun asked, his voice going deeper. He started stroking at him again. 

Kihyun closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he started kissing Changkyun's shoulder. He could feel heat pooling into his stomach as Changkyun touched and touched and touched. 

“Like that,” Kihyun gasped out softly. 

“I wanna see you.”

Kihyun pulled his head up to look at him, and Changkyun smiled at him before moving closer and closing his eyes. Kihyun closed the distance and kissed him, and that was when the tight heat in him unraveled. 

“Changkyun,” Kihyun whimpered, and he dug his fingers into his skin. 

Kihyun knew he trembled when he came, so he wasn't surprised when Changkyun yanked his hand away from him and looked at him with big wide eyes. 

“Kihyun? You okay?” he asked softly. 

Kihyun nodded, trying to catch his breath. 

“I love you,” Kihyun managed. 

Changkyun sighed and smiled. “I love you, too.”

Kihyun pulled him closer and kissed him. There was a giant mess on the sheets because of him, but he didn't care. He pushed Changkyun back onto the bed and kept kissing him until the exhaustion settled into the marrow of his bones. 

“I need to sleep,” Kihyun said. 

“Okay. Can we spoon?” Changkyun asked. 

Kihyun smiled and rolled off of Changkyun, curling up to avoid the drying come. Changkyun’s body wrapped around his, and he pulled him back against him. 

Kihyun closed his eyes and felt himself already drifting off. 

“Thank you,” Changkyun said softly.

“Hm? For what?” Kihyun asked. 

“For letting me see you,” Changkyun answered. 

Kihyun threaded their fingers together. 

“Thank you for letting me see you too.”

“I love you.”

“How do you say that in your star language?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun laughed a bit and nosed at his favorite spot behind Kihyun's ear. The spot he would have kissed all the time if only he could. 

Whatever strings of his soul that Changkyun plucked then felt like light filling his entire body up. Like tasting something delicious for the first time. 

Changkyun squeezed him closer.

“My Kihyun,” he said softly. 

“I love you, too,” Kihyun said.

Home had always been far away, but now home had its arms around him. Kihyun had never slept better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To a human, forever was in the seconds that trickled by.

It pained Kihyun a bit that Changkyun could never kiss him first. Couldn't even press kisses to his cheeks or forehead. It pained Changkyun too. Kihyun could see it every time Changkyun would press his forehead against him or bury his nose against his neck because it was the closest he could get. 

So whenever night came, Kihyun made sure to kiss Changkyun as much as he could. Maybe it would make up for it a bit. 

“Can I ask you something?” Kihyun asked one night after peppering Changkyun’s face with kisses. 

“Of course,” Changkyun said. He looked adorable, his bangs brushed back as he laid on their pillows. 

“Why can't you kiss me?” Kihyun asked. 

The little smile on Changkyun's face dulled. 

“I just...can’t.”

Kihyun frowned. “You usually have better answers.”

Changkyun bit his lip a bit and looked away. “Not for this question.”

Kihyun reached up and traced his thumb over Changkyun's cheek, and Changkyun closed his eyes, leaning into the touch. 

“Can’t or won’t? If you come to kiss me, will there be an invisible layer between us you can’t break?”

Kihyun grinned a bit, hoping Changkyun wouldn't get upset. Kihyun didn't want to make him upset, but his curiosity was nagging at him. 

Changkyun looked at him, his lips starting to pout out. 

“I  _ shouldn’t _ kiss you first,” Changkyun answered after a while. 

“Why? Will I explode or something?” Kihyun joked. Changkyun, however, was still serious. 

“Don’t say that,” Changkyun said. He was frowning now, turning onto his side like he was suddenly uncomfortable. 

“I don't mind kissing you all the time, but I can see how sad you get when you want to kiss me but can't,” Kihyun said. Running his fingers through his hair, he moved, so Changkyun could settle. 

“I'll be fine. You always kiss me anyway.”

“But why don’t you just try? Just once?”

Changkyun pulled away, all the way back to the edge of the bed and against the wall. His eyes looked a bit sad, and his mouth was set into a frown. 

Kihyun hated it. 

“Kihyun--”

“I just don't understand. You kiss me back. We end up kissing anyway. What's the problem?”

As soon as the words came out as rushed as they did, Kihyun regretted it. He had sounded angry when he wasn't really. Just frustrated. 

Changkyun covered up his face and turned to lay on his back. Kihyun sighed and traced his hand down his chest lightly, hoping he hadn't upset him too much. 

“Changkyun--”

“I'm not going to try,” he said softly. 

Kihyun frowned, but he didn't stop touching him. 

“Do you know the reason why, at least? Can you tell me that?” he asked.

Changkyun groaned and sat up, leaving Kihyun’s hand hanging in the air between them. 

“Of course I know why, but there are somethings I can't explain,” he said softly. 

The seconds ticked by. Changkyun stared out the opening in the blinds up at the sky. Kihyun stared up at him. 

“Can't or won’t?” he asked. 

Changkyun looked at him, pouting. 

“I can’t, Kihyun. I can’t. I'm sorry,” he said. 

Kihyun’s heart flopped when he saw that Changkyun’s eyes were filling up. He sat up and wrapped his arms around Changkyun and held him. 

“Hey, no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry,” Kihyun said. He kissed Changkyun's cheek and wiped at the few tears that managed to fall down his face. Changkyun sniffed and leaned against him. 

“No, it's okay. You were just asking questions.”

“I’m still sorry,” Kihyun said, kissing him again. 

Changkyun laughed a little. “It’s okay. It wasn't you making me cry. It's just. The whole situation.”

Kihyun perched his chin on Changkyun's shoulder. 

“I won’t ask anymore, okay?” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun laid his head against his. 

“I promise I'll tell you one day. I will. Just not now. I can't right now,” he whispered. 

Kihyun squeezed him closer. “Okay. I can deal with that.”

“I love you. So much.”

Kihyun smiled. “I love you, too.”

“And I'll love you forever. I always will,” Changkyun said softly.

Pulling him closer, Kihyun brushed his lips against his brow. “I’ll always love you, too.”

In the quiet of the room, Changkyun’s light was suddenly as bright as the sun.

Kihyun brushed his lips down the slope of Changkyun's nose, and he could almost feel Changkyun's soft breath leave him. 

“You want a kiss?” Kihyun whispered. 

Changkyun laughed softly and looked at him. “I always do.”

Kihyun smiled and held his face before he leaned in and kissed him properly. Brushing and mouthing and licking. Changkyun kissed him back, pushing Kihyun back gently, so he could lay on top of him. 

Kihyun melted under him, under the heat of the sun that he orbited, of the sun that orbited him. 

“I love you so much,” Kihyun whispered against his lips. 

“I love you, too, Kihyun.”

Kihyun wrapped his arms around him and held him tight, kissing him until his lungs burned and his lips ached. 

They were hanging out at Minhyuk and Hyungwon’s place again when  _ they  _ came tumbling out of the sky. 

They being Changkyun’s friends. 

They had been sitting out on Minhyuk and Hyungwon’s balcony, listening to Changkyun talk about all the stars when he stopped and rushed them all inside.

With a glance, Kihyun could see it. Just like when Changkyun came, two ever brightening lights were shooting straight at them. 

Fear trickled into Kihyun's bloodstream for a moment, terrified that someone might have come to take Changkyun back. He walked over to Changkyun and tugged at the bottom of his shirt, already squinting at the brightness coming from outside. 

“What’s wrong?” Kihyun asked him. But Changkyun had his nose pressed against the window, and he definitely wasn't paying attention. 

“Um, isn't this how he showed up?” Minhyuk asked. 

And then something crashed into the chairs outside again. 

“More fallen stars. I'll go start making cocoa, then,” Hyungwon said before he walked over to the kitchen. Minhyuk sighed before he followed after him. 

Only Kihyun was left, clutching to the back of Changkyun's shirt so tightly he was trembling. 

Changkyun ran back out onto the balcony, and he was practically vibrating. He was grinning from ear to ear as he seemed to greet whoever had landed there. 

“Changkyun, wait,” Kihyun said, pulling at his shirt with one hand and shielding his eyes with another as he followed after him. 

“Wait!” Changkyun turned suddenly and threw his hands over Kihyun's eyes. Kihyun froze, reaching out to grab at Changkyun’s sides, squeezed him closer to him. 

“Um, what?” Kihyun asked. 

“You can't look yet, just. Give me a second,” Changkyun explained. Kihyun laughed a bit, still nervous. 

“Um, okay?”

“They’re too bright,” Changkyun said. 

There's movement, but no speaking. 

“Are they...okay?” 

Kihyun knew he was asking if they were okay to be around. If they were safe. Changkyun answered a different question.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. They were a bit tangled up in the chairs, but they’re fine. We’re talking,” Changkyun said. He slowly moved his hands away from Kihyun's face and smiled at him. “There you are.”

Kihyun chuckled, squeezed Changkyun's sides again. “Here I am.”

He looked over to see two men, glowing just like Changkyun does. They smiled at him and Changkyun. 

“Kihyun, these are my friends. Jooheon and Hoseok,” Changkyun said pointing at each of them. Then Changkyun wrapped his arms around Kihyun's middle and pulled him close. 

“This is my Kihyun!” Changkyun happily announced back to the two larger stars. 

Kihyun couldn’t help but feel warm at being called that. Warm at the smile on Changkyun's face. Warm at the fact that he was worried for no reason. 

He kissed Changkyun's cheek before he pulled away and walked over to them, holding his hand out. 

“It’s very nice to meet you guys,” Kihyun said. 

Jooheon smiled at him as he shook his hand. 

“Nice to meet you too!”

“We’ve heard a lot about you,” Hoseok said. When Kihyun stepped back, he took them in again. 

They looked perfectly normal except for their light. He noticed that the slight twinkling they had was perfectly in tune, on the same exact beat. 

Suddenly, Kihyun understood what Changkyun had meant about songs matching. 

“You guys can…” Kihyun started.

“Talk? Yeah. Changkyun made us practice with him when he wasn't with you. He was always worried you wouldn't be able to understand him,” Jooheon said. 

Something soft melted inside Kihyun, and he was about to speak when the door slammed open. They all turned towards it, startled.

“Um, Hyungwon's cocoa is done,” Minhyuk said as he peeked out the door. 

“Cocoa! Cocoa is so good!” Changkyun said. He ran over and grabbed Jooheon's hand to pull him inside excitedly. Hoseok followed after them, a fond smile settling on his face.

Minhyuk hurriedly moved out of their way before sending a look at Kihyun. Kihyun just shrugged. 

“For the future, please ask before you invite people to my house,” Minhyuk whispered. 

“I think they invited themselves,” Kihyun whispered back. 

“Stars have a habit of doing that, it seems. Why my house, though,” Minhyuk mused. 

Kihyun laughed a bit and glanced inside to see Hyungwon putting down mugs in front of everyone. Kihyun could hear Changkyun happily explaining the difference between a  _ drink  _ and a  _ food _ , and Kihyun can't help but feel fond.

“You picked this place because of the view of the stars. Now the stars come to you,” Kihyun said. 

“Very funny,” Minhyuk deadpanned before he walked back into the apartment. Kihyun smiled as he followed after him.

Jooheon and Hoseok seemed totally engrossed in whatever Changkyun told them. It was like they were listening to a friend talking about their amazing travels. It was interesting to witness because they never asked questions out loud, but Changkyun answered many questions. 

Maybe Changkyun thought all the humans in the house would feel weird if they had all just sat there staring at each other instead of talking out loud. 

“Will you be staying long?” Kihyun managed to ask when Changkyun took a moment to breathe.

Jooheon turned to him. “We don’t know. Not too long though.”

“Not too long human time or not too long star time?” Hyungwon asked. 

Hoseok laughed a bit. “Human time,” he answered. 

“So by sunrise? That's how it worked with Changkyun before he could stay,” Kihyun asked.

Jooheon and Hoseok looked at each other for a moment before looking at Changkyun. There was a tiny little movement, almost imperceptible, of Changkyun's head twitching like he was about to shake it but stopped himself. 

Kihyun furrowed his brow at the exchange. 

“Sunrise. Yes,” Jooheon said. 

“I’ll go get the air mattress,” Minhyuk grumbled before he walked down the hall. Kihyun snorted as he watched, loving how his friends were taking all of this so well. 

“Thank you for letting us stay,” Kihyun said to Hyungwon.

Hyungwon shrugged. “We got a big living room and a comfy couch for a reason. Didn't know we’d be hosting galactic guests, but you know.”

Kihyun went to help Minhyuk set up the air mattress, glancing back occasionally to see how Changkyun was doing. 

He and Jooheon held hands as they talked to each other. He made Jooheon and Hoseok laugh a lot as he talked, and he hadn't really stopped smiling since they got there. 

Kihyun smiled, happy to see his love so excited. He must’ve missed his friends terribly since they didn't really have a way to communicate with each other. Kihyun walked back over when they finished setting up and kissed Changkyun's cheek. 

Changkyun smiled up at him from his seat. “Sorry, I've been distracted.”

“You’re fine. You missed them.”

Changkyun smiled and puckered his lips out at him. Kihyun laughed before he kissed him again. 

“You make him so happy,” Hoseok said. 

And it was probably the greatest compliment Kihyun had ever gotten. He stood up straight and brushed his fingers through Changkyun's hair.

“He makes me happy, too,” Kihyun said. 

But when he looked back up, there was something sad about Jooheon and Hoseok. A dimming of their light even as they smiled at them. 

But whatever it was that was bothering them, they didn't say. At least not out loud or to Kihyun. They seemed to just talk to Changkyun a lot, silently staring at each other but reacting to things.

Kihyun left them to it, going to sit next to Minhyuk on the couch to watch something. 

“You're not jealous, right?” Minhyuk asked. 

“What? Of course not. But they’re here to see Changkyun and talk to him, and, unfortunately, I can't speak star.”

“I figured not, but I thought I'd check.”

“At least they still liked cocoa,” Hyungwon said. He tugged on Minhyuk's sleeve until Minhyuk leaned against him, and Hyungwon put his arm around him. 

“So why sunrise?” Minhyuk asked. 

“I don't know. But that's how it works, I guess,” Kihyun said. 

“Aw. And here I thought Changkyun would be showing them around town,” Hyungwon said.

“That'd be a great idea if they weren't leaving,” Kihyun said. 

“I wonder why they picked to look like that,” Minhyuk said, glancing back over at the table.

Kihyun frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you said Changkyun made himself look like that. But he had something to base it off of. What did they have to base it off of?”

Kihyun looked back over at the kitchen table at them. “No idea.”

“You should ask them whenever they decide to join us,” Minhyuk said. 

“If they decide to join us,” Hyungwon said softly. 

“Nah, they will. Changkyun can only go so long before he starts wanting to be all over Kihyun again,” Minhyuk said. 

Kihyun nudged him with his elbow. “That's not true,” he said.

Minhyuk rolled his eyes. “You’re  _ dating.  _ And also totally whipped for each other. It's okay for you to be clingy. Hell, we are.” He motioned between him and Hyungwon, and Hyungwon laughed a bit before hugging him tighter to drive home the point. 

Kihyun laughed a bit, rolling his eyes. “I guess you have a point.”

“What are we watching?” Changkyun asked as he walked into the room, Jooheon's hand still in his as he led them around. 

“What do you want to watch, starshine?” Minhyuk asked. Kihyun grinned. It seemed he wasn't the only one that was totally whipped for Changkyun. 

“I know we’ve seen it a lot, but I want to show them Iron Man,” Changkyun said a bit bashfully. 

“Iron Man it is,” Hyungwon said. 

Changkyun beamed and then he walked over to the couch, looking at it like he was trying to figure out how to fit everyone there. 

“You guys can sit on the air mattress,” Kihyun suggested. 

Changkyun looked at him. “You, too?”

Kihyun smiled. “You want me to?”

Changkyun nodded. “I want to cuddle.”

“Do you hear that, Hyungwon? It’s the sound of my point being made,” Minhyuk said. 

Kihyun rolled his eyes as he got up and moved down to the air mattress. Changkyun happily plopped down next to him and leaned against him as Kihyun snaked his arm around his waist. 

Jooheon and Hoseok hesitated for a moment before they settled down next to Changkyun. 

Hoseok looked around at the two couples before he looked at Jooheon and put his arm around him too. 

“This is good,” Hoseok said as he hugged Jooheon closer. Changkyun laughed.

“You should try spooning! It's even better,” he said.

Kihyun shut his eyes as Hyungwon snorted somewhere behind him. 

“So are you two...together?” Minhyuk asked. 

Jooheon looked back at him, lips pouting out. “We’re all together.”

“No, he means together like in love,” Changkyun explained. 

“Ahhhh,” Jooheon said, nodding at Changkyun. Then he turned back to Minhyuk. “Yes!”

“Cute. How long?” Hyungwon asked. 

Hoseok and Jooheon looked at each other for a moment. 

“Forever?” Hoseok said carefully. It was like he wasn't entirely sure if that was the correct word to use. 

“Always,” Jooheon said a bit more confidently. 

Hoseok smiled and hugged Jooheon tighter, nuzzling in against Jooheon’s neck. 

“Um, Changkyun?” Minhyuk asked. 

“Yes?”

“You didn't correct them.”

“Well, they're right,” Changkyun said. 

There was a moment where those words sunk in. A moment where Kihyun's brain stopped short. 

Forever. Always. 

It’s what Changkyun and Kihyun promised to each other. 

Something awful and dark bubbled up in Kihyun's stomach at that thought. Two stars. Of course they had been together forever. They’ll always be together, long lives synced up to each other. 

But Kihyun wasn’t a star. His forever and always wasn't true. And whenever Changkyun told him that he’d love him forever, it had seemed so adorable and cute, but it suddenly had something darker attached to it. A shadow behind the blinding light of his love. 

Kihyun gripped into Changkyun's side, pulling him closer. 

Changkyun would love him forever. But Kihyun was only human. His forever was fleeting. A speck. Changkyun's was truly eternal. 

And Kihyun had thought it was good to look up at the sky sometimes and realize how tiny you are, but he had never felt smaller in his entire life than when this realization fell heavily on him. 

“You can start the movie!” Changkyun said back to Hyungwon who had the remote. 

“Alright, alright, I'm going,” Hyungwon answered. 

The movie turned on, and Changkyun was glued to the screen along with Jooheon and Hoseok. Kihyun couldn't focus though. He moved, coming up behind Changkyun and wrapping his arms around him, burying his face in his shoulder. 

To a human, forever was in the seconds that trickled by. Always was until the end of  _ their  _ time. And whenever Kihyun said he’d always love Changkyun, he meant it, but now he realized that it meant something different to Changkyun. 

Something else entirely. 

Whenever Kihyun had been faced with his own mortality before, he had liked to think he had handled the existential crisis that set in well. But now there was another layer to it that Kihyun was trying hard not to think about. Changkyun actually loving him forever and always, and Kihyun not being there anymore to return it. 

Kihyun held him as tightly as he could. Tight like he would never let go. He pressed as many kisses to his shoulder as he could, hoping that somehow Changkyun could feel forever in them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed it!  
Hit me up:   
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	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When their lips met, the seconds felt like forever, and Kihyun hoped that was good enough for now.

Jooheon and Hoseok left before first light. They managed to get two movies deep into the Marvel universe, and they decided that they quite liked them. Changkyun was happy, and Kihyun clung to that. Clung to him.

He hoped his existential crisis wasn't too obvious. 

Jooheon and Hoseok kissed the top of Changkyun's head like he was precious, and when they left they didn't take their memories with them. Changkyun explained that away by saying something about him staying. Kihyun didn't pay much attention. Just watched the way Changkyun’s mouth moved as he explained. 

They picked up breakfast on the way home, and Changkyun hummed and wiggled and chatted happily about his friends, and that he was sorry for keeping him up all night, and hash browns are so good, why’d he never try them before?

But inside, all Kihyun could think about was  _ forever _ . 

All the things they hadn't done because work was busy and because, honestly, Kihyun wanted to keep Changkyun all to himself. 

But now he was worried. 

Was he memorable? Would Changkyun remember cuddling on the couch and watching Iron Man for the fortieth time? Would he have something fond to think about during his always? Would he remember the man he said he’d love forever?

Or would it just be a memory of the feeling of love?

“I’m so sleepy now. I can't wait to get into bed,” Changkyun said, stretching his arms up above his head before getting out of the car, carrying their bags of food.

“Bed sounds nice,” Kihyun said softly. 

“But you need to eat first! You haven't eaten all night,” Changkyun said.

Kihyun smiled and walked around the car to him to kiss his cheek. “Thank you for worrying, love.”

Changkyun blinked at him, reaching up to touch his cheek softly. Then he smiled. 

“You’re welcome!” he said brightly. 

God, Kihyun loved him. He took Changkyun's free hand as they walked to their apartment. Changkyun started chattering again. 

“They said they would come back to visit again soon! I want to show them our apartment next time.”

“Of course. Whatever you want.”

“Did you like them?” 

They walked into the apartment, and Kihyun locked the door behind them as Changkyun kept going to the kitchen table to set up their meals. 

“They were very nice. Quiet, though.”

Changkyun scoffed. “For you maybe. They were talking to me all night. Would not shut up.”

Kihyun laughed a bit and walked up behind Changkyun to hold him. Changkyun paused and leaned back against him.

“Hey,” Kihyun said.

“Hey?” Changkyun answered.

Kihyun squeezed him closer. Kissed his shoulder again. “I love you, Changkyun.”

“I love you, too.” Changkyun turned around and draped his arms around Kihyun's shoulders. He leaned closer to him, leaned in for a kiss. 

Kihyun closed the distance. 

When their lips met, the seconds felt like forever, and Kihyun hoped that was good enough for now. 

Their lips molded together, and Changkyun wrapped his arms tighter around Kihyun's neck, pulling him closer. Kihyun pushed Changkyun up against the table and kissed him. Opened his mouth and licked at the seam of Changkyun's lips. 

Changkyun moaned and opened his mouth. Let Kihyun kiss him however he wanted to. Tentatively kissed back and flicked his tongue against Kihyun's. 

Kihyun moved his hands up to cradle Changkyun’s face, to hold it in place when he reluctantly pulled away to gasp for air.

Changkyun smiled at him. Warm hands on the nape of Kihyun's neck.

“You need to eat,” he said softly, knocking their foreheads together. 

Kihyun sighed and smiled. “I know, I just. Wanted to kiss you.”

Changkyun seemed to blush again, cheeks lambent.

“Thank you. Now…” Changkyun kicked a chair out a bit and guided Kihyun toward it. Kihyun laughed as he sat down, but he pulled Changkyun down into his lap. 

Changkyun froze. 

“Why...haven't we been eating like this the entire time?” Changkyun asked. 

Kihyun snorted and buried his face in his back. “It's hard to eat like this, mainly.”

“Hm.” Changkyun reached out to grab a hashbrown and then turned a bit to hold it up to Kihyun’s mouth. Kihyun bit into it, and it had started to get cold, but it still tasted good, and that's all that mattered. Hash browns weren't meant to last forever anyway. 

They ate like that, and when they finally fell into bed later, Kihyun was the one spooning Changkyun. Not that either of them minded the minor shift. 

The next day they went to the store together. It was always mildly strange to see Changkyun looking fully human. No glow. Just his clean and bright skin. 

Changkyun was getting the things he was used to getting around the store. The usual. What they got every week. 

Kihyun, on the other hand, wandered over to an entirely different aisle. 

“Where are you going?” Changkyun asked after dropping some sauces into their hand basket. 

Kihyun frowned as he stared at the display of condoms in front of them. Changkyun followed his gaze, then looked back over at him, poking his finger between his brows. 

“Why are you frowning?” Changkyun asked, and when Kihyun looked, he was frowning too. 

“I’m thinking,” Kihyun said, grabbing Changkyun's hand and moving it out of his face. He didn't let go of it. 

“There's too many options,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun nodded slowly, looking back up at the display. 

“We don't really need these, though, do we?” Changkyun said.

Kihyun choked. “Why do you think that?”

Changkyun shrugged. “I've never been with anyone else. And from what you've told me, you haven't either.”

Kihyun knew he was blanched in the middle of the aisle. He cleared his throat. 

“Yep. You’re right,,” Kihyun mumbled. 

“And we can't get pregnant!” Changkyun said happily. 

Horrified, Kihyun willed his brain to work.

“I mean...I guess you have a point,” Kihyun stuttered out. 

“But if you want them, Hyungwon recommended these,” Changkyun said, grabbing a box off the shelf and holding it out toward Kihyun. He looked down at it. 

Ribbed. Lubricated on BOTH sides, the box advertised. 

Kihyun was going to kill Hyungwon, but he dropped the box in his basket anyway. 

“When did you guys talk about condoms?” he asked as he shifted down the aisle a bit to look at the significantly smaller selection of lube. 

Changkyun reaches up and takes one bottle of each before dropping it in the basket.

“When we got coffee last week while you were rushing to meet your deadline,” Changkyun answered. 

Kihyun stared down at their basket. “Um, Changkyun. Why so many…”

“Oh! Hyungwon said we needed lots!”

Kihyun was  _ definitely _ going to kill Hyungwon, but he couldn't really argue. He tallied up how much buying all of them would cost, took out the one flavored one and put it back before deciding that he’s ultimately glad that Changkyun is, was, and probably always will be chill. 

If the person checking them out noticed the bright shade of red that Kihyun had turned, they’re kind enough not to act like it. They're also kind enough to not even glance up when they swipe three different things of lube across their scanner. 

They’re in the car before the lightbulb seemed to go off in Changkyun's head. 

“Wait, why are you suddenly buying all these things?” he asked. 

Kihyun patted his cheeks, felt how hot they were. 

“Oh, um. You know. Just in case. So it's there,” he said. 

He didn't know how to tell Changkyun that he didn't want to keep putting it off. That their love was always more about being together than sex, but now that he realized how this was going to go, he didn't want Changkyun to have regrets. He didn't want Changkyun to look back and wistfully wish they had touched each other more. Loved each other more. 

“Ah. Am I finally good enough at getting you off to move to the next step?” Changkyun joked. 

Kihyun snorted. “I think you were just fine at that the first time.”

“Good. I like making you feel good.”

A hand fell on Kihyun’s thigh and squeezed.

He couldn't drive home fast enough. 

Desperate. It was desperate. 

Barely through the door, grocery bags still in hand, and Kihyun pulled Changkyun to him, kissed him hard enough to make Changkyun stumble back a bit. 

Changkyun tried to touch him but couldn't because of the bags. Still, Changkyun didn't pull away. He just defeatedly dropped his arms to his side and waited. 

Kihyun pulled away, took the bags away from him and rushed to the kitchen. He shoved the full bags directly into the fridge, only keeping the one full of condoms and lube. 

“Hey, what’s the hurry?” Changkyun asked. He wrapped his arms Kihyun, trying to hold him still.

Kihyun turned and kissed him again, grabbing onto the hair at the nape of his neck to pull him closer. 

There's something about the noises Changkyun makes when they kiss. The soft little sighs and moans. It makes Kihyun warm all over. It’s as if just kissing feels as good as everything else to Changkyun. 

“I want you,” Kihyun whispered out once he pulled away to catch his breath. Changkyun’s hands settled on his hips and pulled them against his. 

“I want you, too,” he said. 

Kihyun bit his lip and giggled a bit, grabbing onto Changkyun's hand and pulling him along after him toward the bedroom. 

As soon as that door shut behind them, Kihyun pulled his shirt off and threw it across the room. 

“Kihyun…”

Next went his pants and his underwear all at once. All together.

“Kihyun.”

He stumbled over to the bed and sat down on it. 

“Kihyun!”

Kihyun looked up, and Changkyun was just staring at him with a slightly amused smile. 

“What?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun laughed a bit and walked over and cupped his face. 

“You don't need to rush this. You’re all frantic.”

“But--”

“I don't know what got into you, but I'd rather not rush through...well anything with you,” Changkyun said. 

His hands slid down to Kihyun’s neck, and then to his shoulders, and his eyes followed the line they made.

Kihyun sighed softly and tugged at Changkyun's shirt. 

“I can take my time,” he said softly. 

Changkyun grinned. “I'd prefer it, actually.”

The desperation dissipated as Kihyun pushed Changkyun’s shirt up a bit. He leaned closer and kissed Changkyun's belly. 

He didn't even know how they'd do this. Had no idea how Changkyun wanted him. How he wanted Changkyun. 

It was just a pull somewhere inside his chest. 

He undressed Changkyun slowly, and Changkyun let him. Kihyun kissed him along the way. Traced his lips against his skin like he was painting him. 

They ended up laying in bed naked, pressed against each other, just kissing and grabbing at each other for a while. 

Changkyun left him breathless. Once Kihyun realized that they were both just grinding their hips against each other, he pulled away. 

“How should we...do you want to…” he started. 

Changkyun hummed and traced the lines of Kihyun's face with his fingers. 

“You know, I had actually asked Hyungwon about this,” Changkyun said. 

“Of course you did.”

Changkyun bit his tongue between his teeth and laughed a bit. “I don't think it matters, really. We’ll get around to doing both eventually,” he said. 

Kihyun laughed a bit and kissed him again. “I know, but right now, what do you want?”

Changkyun blinked slow and touched slow. Hands moving all over Kihyun's body and leaving goosebumps in their wake. 

“Do you have a preference?” Changkyun asked. Kihyun shook his head. Changkyun licked his lips before he pulled him closer and rolled onto his back, pulling Kihyun on top of him. 

Cheeks glowing, he looked away like he hoped that was enough of an answer. 

Kihyun slotted himself between his legs, biting his lip. 

“Like this then?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun nodded, looking back up at him. He looked so calm. Serene. 

The exact opposite of Kihyun's heart in his chest. 

“Right. Let me just…” Kihyun sat up, reaching for the long forgotten grocery bag on the corner of the bed. 

“Kihyun?” 

“Yeah?” Kihyun turned back around, hands landing on Changkyun's legs. 

Maybe Changkyun had changed his mind after all.

“I...I wanna feel you.”

Kihyun smiled a little. “Okay. I can do that.”

“Without...anything else,” Changkyun finished softly, glancing at the bag. 

Oh.  _ Oh.  _

“You’re really against the condom thing, huh?”

“Hyungwon and Minhyuk don't use them,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun tried to erase that information from his mind immediately. 

“They've been together for a while,” Kihyun explained. 

“We’ve been together longer than them,” Changkyun said with a pout. 

Kihyun huffed out a laugh. “Alright, alright. I guess you’re right anyway.”

Changkyun smiled and ran his hands down Kihyun's body. “Okay.” He wiggled a bit, moving himself down, closer to Kihyun. He blinked up at him through his eyelashes. 

“I’m ready now,” Changkyun said.

Kihyun snorted and finally managed to grab a bottle of lube. “No, you’re not, but it’s okay.”

Pouting, Changkyun went all limp beneath him. 

“But I am,” he whined. Kihyun hummed and moved down, so he was laying between Changkyun’s legs. He kissed at his inner thigh as he uncapped the bottle and poured some on his fingers.

It was a bit cold, so he rubbed at it some before he pushed Changkyun's legs up a little. 

“Move your legs up for me?”

Instead of answering, Changkyun just put his legs straight up into the air. Kihyun stared up at the backs of his knees before clearing his throat a bit. 

“Maybe bend your knees and spread them a bit?” he specified. 

“Oh, sorry,” Changkyun said, and then he moved right into position. Kihyun looked him up and down and felt slightly breathless.

“If I do anything you don't like, tell me, okay?”

“Of course.”

Kihyun licked his lips and placed another kiss to the back of Changkyun's thigh, right beneath his ass before he slowly rubbed the pads of his fingers against Changkyun's hole. 

“It’s cold,” Changkyun said, legs squirming a bit. 

“Sorry. I tried to warm it up some. Does it feel okay though?” He was trying to focus on how he moved his fingers. Small little circles and tiny bit of pressure. 

“Yes.”

Kihyun sighed and moved up some to kiss other places. All over his thighs. The place where they met his ass. His half-hard cock. 

Changkyun’s breath hitched then. 

“I want more,” he said softly. 

“Alright. Wait a second.” Kihyun grabbed the lube and dropped more onto his fingers, onto Changkyun, and then gently, slowly, pushed one of his fingers in. 

It was slow, probably slower than Changkyun cared for, but Kihyun wanted it to be perfect. Wanted it to feel as amazing as possible.

So he took his time going from one finger to two to three. Took his time kissing Changkyun everywhere he could reach, breathing in the clean bright scent of his skin. Took his time to listen to Changkyun slowly grow louder and louder and then suddenly go quiet. 

Kihyun found that he quite enjoyed the feeling of Changkyun's song. 

He might not have been able to hear it, but the way it plucked at something immaterial yet constant inside of him was enough. It felt like tumbling through space in slow motion, taking in the stars around him. 

And he might not ever truly know, but sometimes he felt like he understood. He had asked Changkyun so many times that he recognized the exact way his name felt as it was echoed back by Changkyun into his soul. 

And he understood it then. The way  _ Kihyun _ felt like chocolate on his tongue, sweet and already melting, but also high and bright like birdsong, and also like someone had wrapped their pinky squarely around his aorta. 

Changkyun made his name sound like the most treasured thing in the world. It felt like love and happiness and all the good in the world. So good and sweet it made his teeth chatter and ache. 

When Kihyun kissed his way back up Changkyun’s body, always kissing, never wanting to miss a spot, Changkyun was already breathless, and his eyelashes were wet, and he gripped into Kihyun’s back like he was terrified that if he let go Kihyun might just float away. 

It was clumsy, trying to get inside of him. It was clumsy because Kihyun kissed Changkyun, and Changkyun refused to let him go to do it properly. 

It took a few tries, a few moments of Kihyun passing the tip of his cock wetly against his hole, for Changkyun to finally still and let him go enough to do it right. 

When Kihyun finally pushed himself inside of him, Changkyun’s entire face went round. Big round eyes, big open mouth. 

“You okay? It hurt any?” Kihyun asked, thanking whatever deity was out there that he somehow kept his composure enough to make coherent sentences. 

Changkyun shook his head and reached up to trace across Kihyun's collarbones, down his chest, then back up again. 

“It doesn't hurt,” Changkyun said softly. 

Kihyun nodded and moved a bit, moved deeper, and he tried to focus on the tiny details of Changkyun's face. The slight upturn of the corner of his lips. The way his eyelashes fluttered a bit. The way his chin tilted up. 

“Your face is all red,” Changkyun said, and then his hands went up to cup his cheeks. 

Kihyun laughed a bit and wiggled his hips, finally seated as deep as he could be. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. He reached up and took Changkyun's hands and kissed at his palms, making Changkyun scrunch up his nose. 

“For what?”

“I...don’t think this will last very long,” Kihyun said as he slowly started moving his hips. Changkyun sucked in a breath and moaned, and the noise made Kihyun's insides feel like hot soup. 

“I don’t care. This is enough. Just being with you is enough,” Changkyun whispered out. 

“Fuck.” 

Changkyun grinned. “Yes, exactly.”

Kihyun snorted and moved down closer to him and kissed him. 

He was right. 

He didn't last very long at all. 

It didn't help that Changkyun kept moving his hips against him, and kept moaning against his mouth, and sang all kinds of love into the room as he started glowing as bright as he would up in the sky. 

But it did help that Changkyun didn’t last very long either, spilling all over them with Kihyun’s hand around him and his tongue in his mouth and filled. 

And Kihyun might have been trembling and sweating and Changkyun might have been flickering and panting, but they refused to let go of each other. Refused to stop kissing even as Kihyun’s lungs begged for oxygen and ached. 

But Changkyun was the one he was kissing, and his home could never hurt him, so eventually Changkyun let his head fall to the side so Kihyun could kiss against his cheek and catch his breath. 

“I love you. Oh my God, I love you so much,” Changkyun whispered. 

“I love you too.”

“Kihyun. My Kihyun.”

Kihyun’s chest ached as he held Changkyun against him, chest to chest, face to face, perfectly lined up because Changkyun wanted them to  _ fit _ . 

He hoped it was enough for forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Any kudos or comments would be absolutely lovely.   
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	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The silence that followed felt strangely hollow. Like there should've been words, but there weren't.

They were walking through the park together, sharing a roasted sweet potato. It was a beautiful Saturday. Spring was in the air, and it wasn't too cold or too hot, and Changkyun refused to let go of Kihyun's hand as they walked. 

Not that Kihyun would want him to let go. 

“I like these things, but they give them to you way too hot,” Changkyun said after he swallowed down another bite.

“They're the best in the winter when you want something steaming,” Kihyun said.

Changkyun nodded. “That's a good idea.” He leaned closer and took another bite from Kihyun's hand before humming happily.

Kihyun grinned and leaned closer to kiss his cheek before they started walking again. 

“So does everything have a song? Like do the trees have songs?” Kihyun asked. 

“They do! They're quieter though.”

“Isn't it really loud for you all the time then?” 

“Nah. It’s just background noise. I'm only ever actively listening to you unless something crazy is happening around me,” Changkyun says. 

Kihyun finished the last few bites before tossing the wrapper in a nearby trash can.

“Are we going to buy dinner or are we going to cook tonight?” Changkyun asked. 

“Don’t know. What do you want?”

“We haven't had fried chicken in a while.”

“A man after my own heart,” Kihyun joked before squeezing his hand and pulling him closer, so he could put his arm around Changkyun's shoulder and hold him. Changkyun leaned against him and smiled. 

“It's not too hard to figure you out, Yoo Kihyun,” Changkyun said. 

“Especially not with an infinite memory, huh?”

Changkyun laughed, and Kihyun felt his heart squeeze again. 

He loved days like this. Even though they were together all the time, it was nice to go out and walk around and see Changkyun happily taking in the world around him.

And after a few months, Changkyun wasn't really learning much anymore, but he still seemed to have a sense of wonder about the world. 

It made Kihyun have wonder too. 

Made him look at the world in a whole new way. How a star would look at a planet. 

“Chicken it is, then,” Kihyun said before pressing another kiss to Changkyun’s cheek. 

Changkyun giggled a bit and reached up to hold the hand that Kihyun put around his shoulder. 

“Let's go look at the pond first?” Changkyun asked.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

They walked the easy path down to the duck pond together. Leaning on each other. Laughing occasionally. They would pause every once in a while to look at some flowers that started blooming or for Kihyun to press more kisses to Changkyun's face. 

Not quite aimless, but definitely very happy. 

The duck pond was empty save for them and an older man that was feeding the ducks across the way. They sat down on the gentle slope that led down into the water, and Changkyun pulled Kihyun back against him. Kihyun let himself be pulled, let himself lean back against Changkyun's chest, and let Changkyun play gently with his hair. 

“I love you,” Changkyun said. 

“I love you, too.”

Time passes slowly and too quick at the same time. Kihyun doesn't feel the seconds trickle by when he’s being held, but he can frown at how quickly the sun seems to pass across the sky.

“Should you put in the order so we can just pick it up?” Changkyun asked.

“Good idea,” Kihyun said, taking his time to pull out of his arms and take his phone out.

“I’ll be right back,” Changkyun said softly before getting up.

Kihyun blinked a bit as he watched Changkyun walk around the pond. He was about to call after him when the restaurant picked up his call and took away most of his focus. 

As he tried to make the order, he watched as Changkyun walked over to the older man and spoke to him. He was smiling kindly, laughing a bit. At his most charming. 

Kihyun thought it was impossible for anyone to hate Changkyun. It probably had something to do with the light he kept locked up beneath his skin, and the ease of being that emanated from him. He looked happy and bright, and it was almost contagious. It was a being completely comfortable in his own skin, and that was something rare in the world. 

Maybe it was his song. A soul so bright they didn't need to hear it to recognize that it was good and kind. 

Whenever they went out, babies would stare at him, and dogs would run up to him with their tails wagging, and Changkyun greeted them all like old friends. Even cats were sweet on him, purring as soon as they got near him.

It was always obvious then how much everything loved the stars. 

But Kihyun still didn't expect the man to take Changkyun's hands and hold them, and he didn't expect the solemn expression on Changkyun's face as he listened to whatever the man was saying, and the person on the phone told Kihyun his order would be ready in fifteen minutes, so they had to be on their way soon.

Kihyun pushed himself up and walked over to Changkyun and his new friend. 

“Hey. Food’s going to be ready soon,” Kihyun said, bowing a bit in apology to be interrupting. 

The man shook his head and wiped at his eyes before clapping his hand on the back of Changkyun's. 

“Sorry. I don't know what came over me. Thank you for talking to me, young man,” he said before he finally let Changkyun go. 

Changkyun smiled and stood up before bowing respectfully and taking Kihyun’s hand again. 

“Let’s go get our food,” he said. 

Kihyun thought it was better not to ask until they were well out of earshot of the man. He didn’t want to make Changkyun or him feel weird about whatever they just shared.

“What was that about back there?” Kihyun asked. 

“Oh. His song was...sad and quiet. A bit weak,” Changkyun said softly. 

Kihyun had never heard of that. “Oh.”

“Sometimes you just need to reach out to someone to help them,” Changkyun said with a shrug. 

Kihyun smiled a bit and pulled Changkyun closer. “And did you? Help him?” 

Changkyun smiled and nodded. “I think so. It was less sad when we walked away.”

“Less weak, too?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun’s smile faltered, and he squeezed Kihyun’s hand. 

“Some things...can’t be fixed as easily,” Changkyun said, and it was solemn. So solemn that Kihyun understood. 

Changkyun didn't seem to want to speak for the rest of their walk to the restaurant. Retreated into his own little world, and Kihyun felt strange because he just knew exactly why someone’s song, someone's  _ soul, _ would be weak. 

And he definitely understood why Changkyun wouldn't want to talk about it. 

When they got back home, Kihyun put their bag on the table before he wrapped his arms around Changkyun and just held him close. Changkyun buried himself in his arms, hands gripping at the back of his shirt. 

“Hey, it’s okay. You made someone's day better, right?” Kihyun said softly. 

“Yeah. Just. Keep holding me?” 

Kihyun chuckled and kissed at whatever parts of Changkyun he could reach as he squeezed him closer against him. 

“As much as you want.”

Changkyun laughed a bit and looked at him. 

“Kiss me?”

Kihyun smiled. 

“As much as you want.”

He leaned in and kissed him, hoping all the love he felt came through in it. Changkyun melted against him, his hands coming up to cradle his face like they always tended to do when he didn't want the kiss to end. 

Kihyun spent the rest of the night kissing him between bites of chicken and soft little laughs. 

“Kihyun! Kihyun, wake up!” 

Kihyun groaned as he opened his eyes slowly to find Changkyun staring down at him with wide eyes. His hands were shaking, and his eyes never seemed to stop running all over Kihyun's face. 

Kihyun frowned and reached up to touch his face. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked. 

Changkyun bit his lip and pressed his palms to Kihyun's forehead. 

“I thought…something changed,” Changkyun said softly, his eyes starting to stare at the space around Kihyun again. 

Kihyun reached up and rubbed at his eyes before turning to look at the clock. It was four in the morning, and Changkyun was upset. Kihyun’s frown deepened as he sat up and pulled Changkyun closer. 

“Did you have a bad dream?” Kihyun asked.

Changkyun shook his head, still biting his lip. Kihyun leaned in and kissed his cheek, his hand coming up to fix his messy bed hair. 

“Then what’s wrong?” 

Changkyun sighed and leaned into Kihyun's touch. “You must be getting sick,” he mumbled. 

Kihyun stopped. He didn't feel too warm or too cold, but his throat did feel a bit drier than usual. 

“Is that what has you so upset?” Kihyun asked.

Changkyun frowned. “Your song got all weird, and I thought--” 

Kihyun blinked at him as Changkyun stopped himself. He scratched at the back of his head gently. 

“Thought what?” Kihyun asked softly. 

Changkyun pouted before he wrapped his arms around Kihyun's neck and held him. 

“I just thought something was wrong, and I got worried. I’m sorry I woke you up. You need sleep to fight off getting sick,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun leaned back against the headboard and hugged Changkyun tight to him. Buried his face in Changkyun's shoulder and pressed kisses there. 

“It’s okay. I wouldn't want you being all stressed if you hadn't,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun squeezed him tighter, his nose rubbing against Kihyun's collarbone.

Kihyun closed his eyes and rubbed up and down his back, feeling himself start to get tired again. A strange, tickling thought appeared in his mind, and it grew until Kihyun couldn't ignore it anymore. 

“Changkyun?”

“Yeah?”

Kihyun kissed his temple, already sorry for what he was about to ask.

“Did you get worried because you thought...something was...really wrong with me?”

A breath. Then Changkyun pulled away a bit and looked at Kihyun. He looked so serious, it made Kihyun want to take it all back. 

“What...what do you mean?” Changkyun asked. 

“Nothing. It's nothing, forget it,” Kihyun said as he brushed Changkyun's bangs back. 

“Just tell me.”

Kihyun sighed. “Were you...worried that my…my song was getting weak?”

Changkyun let out a small huff. 

“Your song isn't weak,” Changkyun said. 

“I know. But...is that it?”

Changkyun looked away from him and shook his head a bit. “It was just weird. It changed enough to wake me up, and I was tired, so I got all panicked.”

Kihyun bit his lip and touched Changkyun’s face gently to make him look at him. 

“You know, humans think about death and dying a lot,” Kihyun said softly. He didn't know why he said that. He thought that maybe it would comfort Changkyun some. That it wasn't strange for him to think about his own mortality. 

It did not seem to comfort Changkyun in the least bit.

Changkyun’s eyes widened, and he started shaking his head again. 

“Don't. You're not. We’re not going to talk about something that's not going to happen...for a very long time,” Changkyun said.

“You don't know that--”

Changkyun grabbed Kihyun's face, and it was the most desperate Kihyun had ever seen him. He shook his head again. 

“Please don't. I don't want you worrying about that,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun didn't know what to say. Didn't know what he could say. 

“Let’s just...go back to sleep, okay? I can be the big spoon,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun nodded. “That sounds nice.”

“Tomorrow I'll make you soup. That's what you eat when you’re sick, right?” 

“Yeah. Soup is great.” Kihyun nodded again, lying back down. Changkyun settled behind him and held him, nose pressed against the spot behind his ear. 

Kihyun turned his face to kiss his cheek. 

“Hey, I love you,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun squeezed him closer, and Kihyun couldn't help but wonder if he was trying to savor it. To memorize the feeling of holding him. 

“I love you, too, Ki. So much. I'm sorry,” Changkyun said. 

“Don't be. There's nothing to be sorry for.”

The silence that followed felt strangely hollow. Like there should've been words, but there weren't. Instead, Changkyun just wrapped his legs around him to get closer. Kept nosing at him in his little substitute for a kiss. 

And Kihyun worried so much, he didn't sleep calmly at all. 

When he woke back up, his nose was stuffy and his throat hurt. 

“So what is the issue?” Minhyuk asked. 

Kihyun frowned down at his blue frosted doughnut. There weren't many people in the cafe, but it still sounded full. The bustle and murmur of other people surrounded them. Kihyun leaned against his arm, glad that they had managed to find a corner table. 

“I mean, technically, nothing?” Kihyun said. Eyes still down.

Minhyuk blew on his still steaming coffee. “It's okay for things not to be perfect, you know. Do you think me and Hyungwon don't have issues?”

Kihyun grinned a bit, finally looking up from his doughnut. “No, I know, but I feel like I feel weird for no reason.”

Minhyuk took a tentative sip of his coffee and grimaced when it was still too hot. Kihyun snorted a bit. 

“Why do you feel weird?” Minhyuk asked, wiping at his lips. 

Kihyun sighed. “I just feel like there's something he's not telling me, you know? I mean, I don't know what it could possibly be, but yeah.”

“And this was brought on because...he knew you were going to get a cold?”

Kihyun clicked his tongue and picked up his doughnut. “You should've seen him. He looked so freaked out, and then when I brought up like dying he shut it down.”

“Ki, I would make you stop, too. I hated listening to that kind of stuff,” Minhyuk said softly. 

Kihyun stopped mid-bite on his doughnut as Minhyuk looked away. He felt like an ass. 

“I’m sorry, I wasn't thinking,” Kihyun said. 

Minhyuk shrugged and waved a bit like he was waving away whatever feelings were starting to bubble up. “It’s fine. It was a long time ago. I'm just saying, I'd shut that down too.”

Kihyun licked his lips before he took a bite of his doughnut. Maybe he was blowing things out of proportion. 

“Can I ask you something though?” Minhyuk asked. 

“Yeah.”

“Have you ever asked him...why?”

Kihyun blinked. “Why what?”

Minhyuk shrugged and tapped his fingers against the table. “I love starshine a lot, don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to make things weird.”

Kihyun sighed. “What is it?”

Minhyuk bit his lip. “Why did he pick you? Or why did you pick him? I don't know. How does a star even fall in love with a human?” 

Kihyun stared at Minhyuk for a second before stuffing the rest of the doughnut into his mouth. Minhyuk snorted at him, pointing at his full cheeks. Kihyun grinned around the doughnut at him before he covered his mouth and kept chewing. 

“You’re ridiculous, you know,” Minhyuk said. Kihyun swallowed and took a sip of his coffee. 

“I'm not. I just never thought about it. It just...always was,” Kihyun said. 

“Interesting.”

“You make it sound like that's a bad thing.”

“It's not! It's just crazy. Like I didn't even know stars were sentient a few months ago, and now one of them is dating my best friend.” 

“Hm.”

“And I really do like Changkyun a lot. He's adorable and sweet. And honestly, I've never seen you happier,” Minhyuk said. 

Kihyun grinned and looked up at him. “I am.”

“Good.”

Kihyun licked his lips. “I really am sorry still.”

Minhyuk cleared his throat and shook his head. “Don’t be. It's easy to forget about all that stuff.”

The bell on the cafe door chimed, and Kihyun looked up to see Changkyun and Hyungwon walking in, chatting happily. 

“Speaking of our boyfriends,” Kihyun said. 

Minhyuk turned and smiled as he saw Hyungwon and Changkyun walk over to them. 

“Hey, babe. Hey, starshine,” Minhyuk said as Hyungwon sat down and kissed him.

“Hi!” Changkyun said as he sat down next to Kihyun. Kihyun leaned over and pecked his lips before putting his arm around the back of his chair, and Changkyun smiled at him. 

“Did you find the equipment you were looking for?” Minhyuk asked. 

“No, I'll just have to order it online,” Hyungwon said. 

“Apparently they haven't gotten stock of it in weeks,” Changkyun said. 

“Bummer,” Minhyuk said. He grabbed onto Hyungwon’s hand and held it tight, and Hyungwon squeezed his hand back. 

“What have you guys been up to?” Changkyun asked. 

“Well, Ki stuffed a whole doughnut in his mouth. That was funny,” Minhyuk said. 

Changkyun snorted a little and looked at him. “I bet your cheeks got huge,” he said. 

“I was laughing too hard to take a picture, but they definitely were,” Minhyuk said. 

“We went on a whole adventure across a huge music equipment store, and Kihyun stuffed a doughnut in his mouth,” Hyungwon said. 

“Look, it had to be done,” Kihyun said. Hyungwon laughed again before putting his arm around Minhyuk’s shoulder while Minhyuk still held onto his hand. Kihyun smiled. It was cute. They were cute. 

Maybe that's why it was easy to forget about a time when they weren't like that. 

Kihyun sipped at his coffee again, trying to not remember the car accident they had gotten into, how someone had slammed into Hyungwon's driver's side, and Minhyuk's story about how when Hyungwon was struggling to stay conscious he had told Minhyuk to be happy without him. 

Kihyun never liked to remember it. The days Minhyuk spent crying on his shoulder in a hospital room. The way he had knelt next to Hyungwon's hospital bed and begged him to get better. The way Kihyun had knelt next to Minhyuk and asked too. 

It had only been three days, but they were some of the hardest days of their lives. 

“What are you thinking about?” Changkyun asked, leaning against him. Kihyun looked at him and shook his head. 

“Nothing.” He leaned closer and kissed Changkyun's temple. 

Changkyun looked at him for a moment before nodding and taking his coffee to sip at. 

The four of them spend the rest of the day walking around the mall before stopping to get dinner and going home. 

“Were you thinking about Hyungwon’s accident?” Changkyun asked when they got home. 

Kihyun blinked. 

“How did you…”

“You told me about it, and you were all sad, and you kept staring at Minhyuk and Hyungwon,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun sighed and went to sit down on the couch. 

“Yeah. I just accidentally said something that brought it up, and then it was stuck in my head all day,” Kihyun said.

Changkyun nodded as he laid down, putting his head in Kihyun's lap. 

Everything felt a bit better as Kihyun ran his fingers through Changkyun's hair and watched him close his eyes and relax and start to glow again. Kihyun grinned.

“At least they’re fine now,” Changkyun said. 

“Yeah. Thank God.”

“So don't be sad, please,” Changkyun said, opening his eyes to look up at him. 

Kihyun laughed a bit and shook his head. Brushed fingers through Changkyun's hair. “I'll try.”

Changkyun hummed a bit before closing his eyes again. “I like it when you play with my hair.”

Kihyun smiled and scratched at his scalp, giggling when Changkyun wiggled a bit in response. 

“I love you,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun smiled up at him, opening his eyes. “I love you too.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

Kihyun moved his hand down to brush a finger against the tip of Changkyun’s nose just to watch him scrunch up his face. 

“Why me?” Kihyun asked softly. 

Changkyun stopped for a second, staring up at him. 

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

“I mean. Like. I don't know. I'm glad it's me, obviously. But you probably could have picked any kid on Earth,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun tilted his head a bit. “I didn't pick you. You picked me.”

Kihyun thought of the way he had pointed up at a star, at  _ him _ , and had called it his. His star. 

“Oh.”

“But it was always us. You probably knew somewhere inside which is why you pointed up at me that night when you were a kid,” Changkyun said. 

A pause. 

“Knew what?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun licked his lips and sat up before he turned to look at Kihyun. 

“You know. That we just...are. It was always us,” Changkyun said. 

“You said that.”

“I don't know. Why did you pick me?”

Kihyun looked at Changkyun for a moment. His curious eyes, and sweet face, and the pulsing light that seemed to be around him and of him at the same time. 

“I just...did. I felt like we were best friends already. Like we knew each other,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun smiled, leaned closer. “Yeah?”

Kihyun smiled back, closing a bit of distance between them but not enough to actually kiss him. Changkyun’s eyes closed slightly, and his hand came up to play with the hem of Kihyun's shirt. 

“Maybe it’s that song thing you’re always talking about,” Kihyun said softly. 

“Definitely. We match. My song and yours,” Changkyun whispered. 

Kihyun closed the distance and kissed him, and then Changkyun was grabbing onto him, pulling him closer.

Kihyun climbed up onto Changkyun’s lap and knocked their foreheads together. 

“I'm sorry we got into that weird argument the other day,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun shook his head, pushing his hands up under Kihyun's shirt. “It's okay. I'm sorry I shut down a bit when you were just trying to talk about your feelings.”

Kihyun smiled. “It's okay. I understand why you wouldn't want to talk about those specific feelings.”

Changkyun hummed a bit and tilted his head up some. Kihyun leaned down and kissed him again, and everything felt right. The way Changkyun would squeeze at his sides before moving his hands down to his hips. The way their lips glided against each other. The soft little sighs they both let out. 

Kihyun brought his hands up to cup Changkyun's face before he pulled away to smile at him. 

“I love you so much,” Kihyun said. 

“I love you, too.”

“It was always me, huh?” Kihyun asked. Changkyun smiled up at him and hugged him closer. “Been my Kihyun since forever.”

Kihyun laughed a bit. Changkyun seemed to shine brighter as he leaned closer again. 

“Oh, you want a kiss?” Kihyun asked. 

“Always.”

Kihyun put a finger under Changkyun's chin, grin on his face. 

“Do you think you'll ever be able to kiss me first?” Kihyun asked. 

It had been meant as a teasing question. Something that'd make Changkyun whine a bit at most. 

But something else entirely crossed Changkyun's expression. His smile flattened out to something more serious. He leaned back, letting his hands fall to Kihyun’s hips again. 

“One day, I promise I'll kiss you as much as you want,” Changkyun whispered. 

Kihyun felt the air leave his lungs as Changkyun pulled him closer again, so close that Kihyun felt the heat from his breath against his lips. 

Then Changkyun tilted his head and smiled again. “But for now, I just have to wait for you to close the distance.”

Kihyun couldn't close the distance fast enough. He pressed forward and kissed 

Changkyun, tangled his fingers in his hair and held him close. 

Changkyun moaned against him, pulled Kihyun’s hips down against his. 

Kihyun didn't really think much about what Changkyun said. Just focused on kissing Changkyun as much as he wanted because of the unfairness of it all. He didn't think much about anything at all except for how good and right it felt to kiss each other. 

How good it felt when Changkyun flipped them so Kihyun was laying on the couch. How good it felt when Changkyun peeled all the clothes off him with a little giggle on his lips. How good it felt when Changkyun wrapped his hand around him and whispered about all the things he wanted to do in Kihyun's ear. 

It wasn't until the next morning when he woke up to find Changkyun asleep against his chest and kissed at the top of his head that he wondered when that day would come. 

And what was stopping it from happening now. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!!
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	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And Kihyun loved him. Loved him so much his chest ached a bit when he thought about it.

The seasons changed and life kept moving. Changkyun was still there beside him, and Kihyun couldn't be happier. He kissed Changkyun every chance he got. They took trips on the weekends to see the mountains and the beaches. They went out with Minhyuk and Hyungwon a few times a week. 

It was on a rare weekend where they didn't have plans that Jooheon and Hoseok came back. 

At least this time, Changkyun gave a little warning, so Kihyun knew to clean up the apartment. 

“It’s already really clean,” Changkyun said as he watched Kihyun scrub at the sink. 

“I know, but still.”

“Okay. I already cleaned the bathroom and set up the air mattress in the living room. Is there anything else you want me to do?” Changkyun asked. 

Kihyun smiled at him, standing up straight. 

“Come here,” he said. 

Changkyun smiled and walked closer, sticking his cheek out, and Kihyun kissed it. 

“Okay, that's all. I just need to rinse this down, and we’re done,” Kihyun said.

“Alright!” 

“Do you know what time they’re coming?” Kihyun asked, glancing back at the clock on the microwave as he rinsed down the sink. 

“Probably soon. They’re getting closer,” Changkyun responded. 

“Ominous.”

Changkyun snorted and tilted toward him again, and Kihyun kissed his cheek again before taking his cleaning gloves off and laying them to dry on the edge of the sink. 

“So you’re going to wait for them outside?”

“Yep! But I want a real kiss first,” Changkyun said, and the pout on his lips was almost too much for Kihyun to bear. Kihyun pulled him close and kissed him, and he felt Changkyun smile against him before pulling away. 

“I love you,” Kihyun said. 

“I love you, too. Now stop cleaning so much,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun laughed a bit before walking over to the living room and plopping down on the couch to wait. 

Changkyun had only been gone for about ten minutes before he was back with Jooheon and Hoseok, smiling and happy as he holds onto Jooheon. 

“Hey, guys! Did you find the place fine?” Kihyun asked as he makes his way over to them. 

“It’s not hard to find him,” Hoseok said, nodding towards Changkyun. 

Changkyun laughed and took their hands. “Let me show you the apartment!”

Kihyun just hovered around them as Changkyun excitedly showed Hoseok and Jooheon around their small apartment. They seemed genuinely excited as they took in the office, bedroom, bathroom, living room, and kitchen, and Kihyun smiled as he thought about Changkyun’s first time seeing the apartment the same way. All bright eyes and excitement. 

“So are we going to watch more of those movies we liked?” Jooheon asked. 

“Yep! That's the plan!” Changkyun said as he starts setting the television up. 

“Is it like last time? Leaving at sunrise?” Kihyun asked.

“Probably not,” Hoseok said. 

Kihyun raised a brow. “You guys can stay longer this time?”

Changkyun laughed a bit, glancing back at them. 

“Oh, they can stay a bit longer this time, but that doesn't always happen,” he said. 

Kihyun watched as Changkyun turned back toward the television and chewed on his lower lip. It had been months since he had felt the slight unease. The feeling like he was being left out of something. 

And Jooheon’s frown only made him feel like he was right in feeling that way. 

“That’s cool, I guess,” Kihyun said. 

“It is,” Jooheon said. 

Kihyun sat down on the couch and tried to ignore the strange feeling building up inside him. Changkyun settled down next to him and cuddled up to him, and Kihyun put his arm around him, but still, he felt like everything was off.

Hoseok and Jooheon settled down on the air mattress in front of them, curling up next to each other, and Kihyun really wished he could understand however stars speak to each other. It only took one look at Changkyun’s face to know he’s listening and reacting to a conversation but trying not to. 

“How have you been, Kihyun?” Hoseok asked. 

Kihyun blinked down at him. “Oh, I’ve been good. We get to travel a bit more, so it’s nice.”

“That’s cool. Where do you like to go to?” Hoseok asked. 

“We like hiking a lot,” Changkyun answered. 

“Yeah, he loves going to the mountains,” Kihyun said. 

“Stars love being up high,” Jooheon said with a little laugh. 

Changkyun giggled and wiggled around, getting closer to Kihyun. 

“I can’t help it, I guess,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun pulled him closer and settled back onto the couch, and it felt more normal again. He let himself get distracted watching the movies and laughing whenever Hoseok or Jooheon react to the movie the exact same way Changkyun had reacted to them before.

By the end of the third movie, Kihyun had almost forgotten how strange it had been earlier. That was, until Jooheon turned around and looked up at them.

“You need something?” Kihyun asked. 

“Changkyun is asleep,” Jooheon said. 

Kihyun glanced down, and there his star was, fast asleep against his shoulder. 

“Oh. He barely slept last night because he was so excited,” Kihyun said, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. 

Jooheon smiled a bit. “Don’t wake him up. It’s fine.”

“He’ll be so upset, though,” Kihyun said. 

“Actually, we wanted to talk to you,” Hoseok said. 

“Just you,” Jooheon added.

Kihyun looked at them. They were sitting there, looking nervous, and Kihyun’s stomach fell. 

“Really? About what?” he asked. 

Jooheon sighed and sat up a bit, glancing over at Changkyun. “Changkyun loves you more than anything in the universe,” he said. 

Kihyun would love to just smile and nod and agree because he knows, but the way Jooheon said it implied a  _ but _ . That Changkyun loved him so much  _ but… _

He felt like he was about to get sick. Not nauseous but like it was coming on. 

“I love him, too,” Kihyun said carefully. 

“But there’s a lot of things he’s not telling you,” Hoseok said. 

Kihyun licked his lips and looked down at Changkyun. 

“I know,” Kihyun admitted softly. 

“You do?” Jooheon asked. 

Kihyun nodded a bit as he looked at them. “I could tell, but whenever I asked questions he’d just tell me I’d find out later.”

Jooheon sighed and leaned against Hoseok’s shoulder again. 

“It just makes some things awkward for us,” Hoseok said. 

“Like what?” Kihyun asked. 

“We don’t have to leave at sunrise like he did. We never did, but he didn’t want to make it seem like he had been leaving you all those years for no reason,” Jooheon said. 

Kihyun swallowed. “So that was the weird moment earlier.”

“But he did have to leave. He wasn’t lying about himself,” Hoseok said. 

Kihyun nodded. “Okay. And the other things?”

“Changkyun will tell you soon, hopefully. We’ve been telling him to tell you, but he’s scared,” Jooheon said. 

“Of what?” Kihyun asked. 

“Of losing you,” Hoseok answered. 

Something knocked through Kihyun’s chest at the suggestion. He couldn't think of anything in the world that would make him leave Changkyun. It seemed like an impossibility. They were meant to be together. It was always them. 

“He won't lose me,” Kihyun said, and he was sure of it. 

He might not have been able to hear their songs, but he knew they went together. That his heart beat in time with the flicker of Changkyun's light. That when he had pointed up at the sky and called him his, he hadn't made a mistake. 

“We know,” Jooheon said with a little nod.

“It’s him that’s worried about it,” Hoseok said. 

Kihyun looked back down at Changkyun. He looked precious as he slept, and Kihyun really didn’t know what kind of secrets he was hiding, but he knew that he had already forgiven him for them. No matter what secrets he kept, Changkyun was his home, and his home could never hurt him. Not really. 

“He really will be bothered that he fell asleep,” Kihyun said. 

“It’s not like we’re leaving in the morning,” Jooheon said. 

Chuckling a bit, Kihyun pulled Changkyun close and kissed Changkyun’s forehead. 

“Babe?” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun’s nose scrunched, and then his eyes opened. 

“Shit,” Changkyun said as he started rubbing at his eyes. 

All of them started laughing a bit. 

“Welcome back,” Hoseok said. 

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Changkyun said before he wrapped his arms around Kihyun’s middle and held him tighter. 

Kihyun smiled and played with his hair. “You want to go to bed?”

“No, I’m fine now,” Changkyun said. 

“Alright,” Kihyun said. 

“You sure? We could all use some sleep,” Jooheon said. 

“Yeah! If you guys are fine, I’m fine,” Changkyun said. 

“Okay. Let's watch one more movie then,” Jooheon said. 

Changkyun nodded and picked up the remote to queue up the next movie. Somehow knowing that there really are secrets and that Kihyun wasn't just being paranoid soothed something in him. Changkyun was still so light as Kihyun pulled him up into his lap, and he giggled at the change but settled back against him because maybe Changkyun thought his home could never hurt him, too. 

Jooheon and Hoseok spent two nights there, and all of them had a good time. It was better than the first time. Kihyun actually got to know about them. 

Hoseok was the eldest and Jooheon was only a bit older than Changkyun. They were like Kihyun and Changkyun in the fact that they were meant to be. Entwined together for all time in a way that no one could articulate better than just saying that they belonged together. Changkyun told him that Hoseok's song was soft and gentle and sweet while Jooheon's was more aggressive and upbeat, but somehow they both had an underlying beat that matched. Their songs never clashed no matter how different they seemed, and when they came together their song was the sound of something epic building up and excitement growing in the pit of their stomachs.

They let Kihyun feel their names in his soul, and Kihyun could feel how different it was from whenever Changkyun did it. All of them so unique it was hard for Kihyun to comprehend, but he liked it. Liked being let in to what felt like a secret club. 

When they left, they hugged Kihyun tight and gave him encouraging smiles and again they kissed Changkyun on the forehead before they were gone, holding hands and flying off into the night sky. 

Kihyun watched them go for a minute before looking over at Changkyun. 

“You happy?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun looked over at him and smiled before taking Kihyun's hand. “Yes. Thanks for letting them stay.”

“Anytime,” Kihyun said with a squeeze to his hand. 

“We should head back in.” Changkyun tugged on Kihyun's hand and yawned. Kihyun put his arm around him before walking back into the apartment. 

“Tired?” Kihyun asked. 

“Mhm. My whole sleep schedule got thrown off,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun laughed a bit as they walked in, closing the door behind them. He stopped, and Changkyun looked at him.

“What?” He asked. 

Kihyun smiled and leaned in to kiss him. Changkyun smiled against him and kissed back, his arms wrapping around Kihyun's neck. 

And Kihyun loved him. Loved him so much his chest ached a bit when he thought about it. He loved the way he shone, and the way his deep voice shoots way up when he laughs, and the way he smiled like he was brighter than the sun. 

Kihyun held him close and pressed their foreheads together and looked at him. Changkyun looked back. 

And he was brighter than the sun. 

“I love you,” Changkyun said. 

“I love you, too. Nothing in the entire universe could make me stop.”

Changkyun laughed a bit and pulled away. “Really?”

Kihyun grinned. “Really. Even when you had to leave. Even when I forgot. I still loved you.”

Changkyun’s smile changed a bit. Got a bit sadder. But he just tilted his head a bit and leaned closer and asked without asking. 

Kihyun leaned in and kissed him again, and he meant it. The kiss. The love. The promise. He'd love Changkyun forever. Always. Even if he had to leave again, and Kihyun could only look up at the sky and talk about the star he claimed when he was a kid, he'd love him. 

It always felt like time was running out for him, but Changkyun never acted like that. He never seemed like he would have to leave tomorrow or the next day or even the day after, but Kihyun knew that the day could come. 

If it came or if it never came, Changkyun would never lose him, and that was the only thing Kihyun was sure of. 

Kihyun pulled away to breathe, and Changkyun giggled, taking Kihyun's hands and pressing them to his cheeks. 

“You always kiss me too long,” Changkyun said. 

“No such thing,” Kihyun replied with a smile. 

Changkyun laughed and pulled at Kihyun. “Come on. Let's go to bed. I’m exhausted.”

“Alright, alright. I'm going,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun practically tackled Kihyun onto the bed because he wanted to lay on him, and Kihyun just laughed and let him try to get comfortable using his chest as a pillow. When Changkyun settled there, Kihyun draped an arm over him and kissed the top of his head. 

“Thank you,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun laughed. “What for?”

Changkyun hummed, and Kihyun knew he was tired. 

“For being you. For being okay with all of this,” Changkyun said softly. 

“I'm okay with anything and everything you could throw at me, Changkyun. We can figure anything out as long as we're together.”

Changkyun was quiet then, and Kihyun figured he'd fallen asleep. He kissed the top of his head again. 

“Goodnight, my lovely star,” Kihyun whispered. 

Changkyun looked up at him, and his eyes were wide and startled. Kihyun frowned. 

“What?” Kihyun asked.

Changkyun stared at him, at the space around him, a frown growing on his lips. 

“Changkyun?”

“W-what did they tell you?” Changkyun asked softly. 

Kihyun blinked and shook his head. “Nothing--”

“Please don't lie to me,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun pressed his lips together for a moment before he reached up and fixed Changkyun's hair.

“They just told me there were things I didn't know. They didn't specify what,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun bit his lip and looked down, and Kihyun frowned at how sad and concerned he looked. He moved to hold his face and make him look up at him. 

“Hey, don't worry about it. I...I knew there were things I didn't know, but it's okay. You don't have to tell me right now. I trust you. I trust that you'll tell me everything one day,” Kihyun said softly. 

Changkyun stared at him, and it felt like time had stopped. 

Like he was about to feel sick, but he wasn't quite there yet. 

“I don't want to--”

“You could never lose me. If that's what you're worried about, don't. I don't know how big this secret is, but it cannot be bad enough to make me stop loving you when I still loved you when we were galaxies apart.”

Changkyun closed his eyes and leaned into Kihyun's palm. 

“It isn't that bad, I don't think. I’m just… scared,” Changkyun said. 

“I get that. I was scared to talk about sex because I thought it would scare you off,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun snorted and buried his face in his chest. Kihyun grinned. 

“I forgot about that,” Changkyun said. 

“You don't have to tell me right now. But it's okay. I know you're scared, but if you don't think it's that bad, it should be fine.”

“I just…” Changkyun looked back up at him and played with his hair. Kihyun let him, gave him time to finish his thought. “...it’s complicated.”

Kihyun laughed a bit. “Our whole relationship kind of is. You’re a star. I'm not. There's literally no way we should have fallen in love.”

Changkyun bit his lip at that, and Kihyun narrowed his eyes at him. 

“Is there?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun sighed and kept playing with his hair. 

“When I say that we were supposed to be together, I mean it. It's not  _ destined _ , per se, because destiny is what we make of it. You could have not looked up that night. You could have not called for me and called me yours. You could have...ignored it.”

“Ignored what?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun sighed, and it was shaky. 

“Our souls call out to each other,” he said softly. 

That was nothing new. Kihyun had known that. Maybe not in those exact words, but he knew. 

And then he realized what he didn't know. 

“Why?” Kihyun asked carefully. 

Changkyun’s hand froze, as he looked down at Kihyun. 

“My memory is infinite, but yours isn't. You can look at things and feel like they’re familiar, but you don't remember why. You don't have a memory of it.”

Kihyun licked his lips. “And what is it I don't remember?”

Changkyun took a deep breath, and Kihyun held him closer, wanting to comfort him. 

“Our lives together,” Changkyun answered softly. 

Time seemed to lag as Kihyun processed what Changkyun said. 

“Like…past lives?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun nodded a bit. 

And Kihyun didn't remember, but he could feel it. A sad little tug around his heart that made his eyes start to prickle with tears. 

And he knew without knowing that they couldn't have been happy. That something had always stopped them. Had always cut their love short. And now here they were, star-crossed in an almost literal sense. 

“No, please don't cry,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun blinked up at him, and he tried to shake off the feeling. Tried to shake off the familiar sadness boiling up inside him.

“What happened to us?” Kihyun whispered out. 

Changkyun sighed and held Kihyun close.

“We would always be happy for a while. Always. We’d always find each other, and we'd be happy, but the world isn't always fair to people in love,” Changkyun said. 

All the times Changkyun would leave came crashing back onto Kihyun. How even as a child he'd wail at the thought of Changkyun leaving him when he would never cry over his other friends leaving or even his parents leaving him at school. It was his pain, but it was doubled over onto itself, a pain he had felt before and was having to experience again. 

“Changkyun,” Kihyun choked out. 

“But those lives don't matter anymore, okay? Now, we’re together, and we’re happy, and I'm not going anywhere,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun’s throat was filled with thorns he had to push words through. The words that he had thought but never said out loud. 

“But this can't last, Changkyun. You’re a star, and I'm not. The difference is that you won't be the one leaving.”

Changkyun shook his head and held Kihyun’s face. 

“Don’t worry about that. You don't have to worry about leaving me if you don't want to.”

Kihyun frowned. “But--”

“I know. I know it seems crazy, but you have to trust me that it'll work out this time because it will. This life? It may not have been the easiest, but it's the one we’ll be the happiest.”

“How could you possibly know that?”

“It already is. We met when you were three years old, and no, it isn't fair that we were so far apart, but we’ve already been together longer than we have been in every other life.”

Kihyun sniffed and rubbed at his eyes. 

“You were afraid if you told me that it'd end, weren't you?” Kihyun asked.

Changkyun pulled his hands away from his face and wiped the tears from his cheeks. He looked solemn and worried, but he was still so beautiful. 

“Humans don't like unhappy memories. Even if all they remember is the sadness. And I knew you'd remember the sadness first,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun swallowed down the lump in his throat and pulled Changkyun close against his chest again. 

“It is a lot of sadness,” Kihyun said softly. 

Changkyun looked up at him, and he looked terrified, so Kihyun kissed his nose softly. 

“But you’re with me now. And you said you're not going anywhere.”

Changkyun laughed a bit. “I'm not.”

“And I trust you. You'd never hurt me,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun shook his head. “Never.”

“It’s actually sweet, if you think about it. We’ve loved each other for so long,” Kihyun said. 

A smile broke out on Changkyun's face. 

“Forever,” he said softly. 

Kihyun’s throat hitched. He rolled them over in bed and kissed him. 

And this time, he knew that Changkyun could feel  _ always _ in the kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!   
Hit me up:  
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[twt](https://twitter.com/yikeslike)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn't need to look to know Changkyun was smiling. He could feel it in the way his fingers pressed into his palm like he never wanted to let go.

****“That’s some heavy stuff,” Minhyuk said as he helped Kihyun do the dishes. 

“It makes sense, though. It makes a lot of sense,” Kihyun said. 

Hyungwon was in the living room teaching Changkyun the finer points of a keyboard, and there would be moments of blaring notes followed by softer sounds and giggling. Kihyun washed the dishes as Minhyuk dried them and put them up. 

Life felt normal. There weren't any moments where Kihyun felt like he was being left in the dark anymore. No moments where Changkyun would stop himself short when talking. 

And he was still there, always there, which was all Kihyun could ask for. 

“Are you happy?” Minhyuk asked. 

Kihyun looked at him, surprised. “Of course I am.”

Minhyuk smiled and kept drying a plate. “That's all that matters, then.”

Kihyun grinned and took off his rubber gloves before setting them to dry. 

“Thanks,” Kihyun said. 

Minhyuk frowned at him. “For what?”

“For being a good friend,” Kihyun said. 

Minhyuk laughed a bit and rolled his eyes. “Oh, whatever. Just go run off already. I know you're dying to.”

“Do you think you and Hyungwon knew each other in a past life?” Kihyun asked. 

Minhyuk put up the last plate and looked at the living room. Kihyun followed his gaze to where Hyungwon was laughing as Changkyun tried to make sense of the animal sounds setting on the keyboard. 

“Honestly? It doesn't really matter to me if we did or not. I love him in this life. We’re together in this life. Neither of us have an infinite memory like starshine does,” Minhyuk said. 

Kihyun blinked over at him, and Minhyuk looked so fond and soft that Kihyun shoved at his shoulder to feel less awkward. Minhyuk laughed and shoved him back before he walked into the living room. Kihyun grinned a bit before following after him. 

“There's no logical sense to where these sounds are assigned,” Changkyun said, and he sounded slightly frustrated as Hyungwon snorted again. 

“There isn't meant to be,” he said. 

“But if you need an animal sound, wouldn't it be better to know where it is instead of pressing every key to find it?” 

“I think that setting is just for kids to play with, starshine,” Minhyuk said. 

“Can a kid not want a specific animal sound?” Changkyun asked. 

Kihyun laughed a bit and ruffled Changkyun’s hair. 

“What logic would you give it then?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun frowned down at the keyboard. 

“I guess there isn't one,” he said after a while. 

Kihyun laughed again and wrapped his arms around Changkyun's shoulders, laying his head on top of his head. “You’re adorable.”

Changkyun turned his head up and smiled at him, but Hyungwon and Minhyuk groaned as they slid away from them. 

“What did I say about shenanigans in my house?” Minhyuk said. 

“These aren't shenanigans,” Changkyun argued back. 

“Feels like it,” Minhyuk grumbled as he plopped down on the couch and pulled Hyungwon down next to him.

“You act like you two aren't just as bad, if not worse,” Kihyun said. 

“Ah, but you see, this is my apartment,” Minhyuk said. 

Hyungwon laid his head on Minhyuk's shoulder. “Stop being so mean. Let them be cute.”

“See? Hyungwon understands,” Changkyun said. 

“Fine. I'll let it slide since I'm picking the movie for the first time in months,” Minhyuk said.

Kihyun sighed and stepped away from Changkyun, so he could actually get up and move to the couch. He had never shown Changkyun a horror movie before, but he guessed there was a first time for everything. 

Changkyun curled up next to Kihyun like he always did, head on his shoulder and arms around his middle. Kihyun’s arm draped around him. 

Kihyun was glad at least that Minhyuk didn't pick a gory movie. It was more of a ghost story, and while the jump scares got to all of them sometimes and made them all laugh a bit at themselves, it wasn't something to turn away from. 

Sometimes Kihyun would feel Changkyun grip at his shirt during particularly tense scenes, and he'd just squeeze Changkyun closer, brushing his lips against the top of his head to distract him. Other times when Kihyun jumped and Changkyun didn't, Changkyun would chuckle a bit and nuzzle closer to Kihyun. By the time it finished, Changkyun was practically in Kihyun's lap, and they were both holding each other so tight that Kihyun didn't realize how tense he was. 

“You two are ridiculous,” Minhyuk said as he started scrolling through Netflix again. 

“Hyungwon is literally draped across you,” Kihyun said.

“But I'm here because it's comfortable, not because I’m scared,” Hyungwon said. He hadn't moved from where he was laying across Minhyuk’s lap, head on the armrest next to Minhyuk.

“But isn't the point of the movie to be scared?” Changkyun asked. 

“I mean, technically,” Hyungwon said.

Changkyun blinked at them, then at Kihyun, and frowned.

“But you jumped a lot,” Changkyun said eventually.

Kihyun snorted as Minhyuk started getting defensive about how he did not jump, and Hyungwon laughing at him trying to fight Changkyun on it when he definitely had jumped. Laughter filled the room as they eventually broke into giggles too, and Kihyun pressed kisses to Changkyun's shoulder. 

That night, Kihyun insisted on going home instead of staying the night when Minhyuk offered. In the car, Changkyun watched the night sky pass them by. 

“Do you miss it? Being up there?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun hummed. “Sometimes, I guess.”

Kihyun cleared his throat as they came to a stop light. “Do you ever want to go back?”

Changkyun looked at him then. The only noise in the car was the quiet murmuring of the DJ on the radio turned low. 

The light turned green, and Kihyun started driving again, and there still wasn't an answer. 

“Are you not saying anything because you think my feelings would be hurt?” Kihyun asked.

“No. I just...I don't have a very straightforward answer for you. I'm thinking about it.”

“Alright.”

“You and Minhyuk and Hyungwon do a great job of making me feel like I belong here,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun glanced at him for a moment before pulling into their apartment complex and parking. He didn't turn the car off. He just watched Changkyun for a moment. 

“But?” Kihyun prompted. 

Changkyun sighed and stared down at his hands. 

“I  _ know _ where I belong, and it’s next to you. By your side. In your arms, or in your bed, or just held,” Changkyun said softly. 

Kihyun bit his lip and reached out to take Changkyun's hand in his, and Changkyun easily gave it. 

“It's okay if you miss it,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun looked up at him and sighed. “I wouldn't do that to you. Not again. I said I wouldn't.”

Kihyun felt something rumble in his core. The feeling of missing a home that isn't really home anymore. That feeling of familiarity and calm that overcomes him the few times a year he visits his parents’ home. 

And as much as he wants Changkyun to stay, he also knows that he’d come back. 

“There's nothing wrong with visiting home,” Kihyun said softly. 

Changkyun looked at him, squeezed his hand tighter.

“You’re my home, Kihyun,” he said. 

Kihyun smiled and pulled Changkyun’s hand up to his lips to kiss it. 

“Come on, let's get inside,” Kihyun said.

Once they were inside their apartment, Kihyun pulled him to the living room and opened up the windows without turning on the lights. 

“What are you doing?” Changkyun asked.

“I don't want to go to bed just yet,” Kihyun said. 

“And what are we doing instead then?” 

Kihyun turned to him to see him shining, light pouring out of him, and a smile on his face. Kihyun smiled back as he pulled him closer. 

“I don't know. Remember when we danced that one time? In my room with the lights off and the window open?”

His hand moved to take one of Changkyun's, and the other landed on his shoulder. Changkyun giggled as he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Kihyun's middle. 

“I do. And you were supposed to be asleep, so we couldn't actually listen to music,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun leaned in and kissed Changkyun’s forehead before he started moving a bit, and Changkyun moved with him, swaying back and forth. 

“But I guess you had music to dance to, didn't you?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun hummed. “I did. But you led.”

Kihyun snorted and pulled Changkyun closer, wrapping his arms around his neck. Changkyun held him, and tilted toward him, waiting. 

Kihyun brushed his lips across his. “I'm sorry I was so stubborn.”

“Don't be. It was cute.”

Kihyun grinned and kissed Changkyun again. There still wasn't any music playing, but Changkyun had a rhythm he'd step lightly to. A rhythm he kissed back with until their movements stopped, save for their lips.

Having Changkyun meet his parents was never something Kihyun had thought possible years before. He had never imagined a day when Changkyun would be there long enough to introduce them. 

But there they were, parked outside his childhood home, staring at the front door. 

“Why are you so nervous?” Changkyun asked. 

Kihyun looked at him. He looked human for this, skin less tan than before because of the winter. He was dressed in a gray suit, holding a bouquet of pink roses, trying to make a good impression. 

He could tell that Changkyun was nervous too. 

“Sorry. I just never thought this would happen,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun nodded. “Do you think they'll like me?”

Kihyun smiled then, pulling Changkyun's hand up to kiss it. 

“I think they’ll love you,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun laughed a bit. “Okay, okay. Come on then. We don't want to be late.”

Kihyun took one last deep breath before opening the door and stepping out into the cold. He shivered and hugged his jacket closer to him as he hurried over to Changkyun’s side, wrapping an arm around him for warmth. Changkyun laughed a bit before pressing his warm hand to Kihyun's cheek. 

“Let’s hurry inside. I don't want you freezing,” Changkyun said.

“You read my mind.”

Kihyun's father opened the door and grinned as Kihyun and Changkyun bowed to him. 

“Hi,” Kihyun said. 

“Hi. This must be Changkyun,” his father said. 

“Hello. Thank you for inviting me into your home,” Changkyun said. 

“It's nice to finally meet you,” his father said, holding out a hand for Changkyun to shake. Changkyun smiled as he took it. 

Kihyun felt relief flood him as his father grinned before he put his arm around Kihyun and pulled him in for a hug. Kihyun hugged him back. 

“We missed you. Your mother is in the kitchen,” he said. 

“I missed you, too,” Kihyun said. He stepped back, hanging up his coat before he took Changkyun’s hand and lead him back to the kitchen where his mother was busy cooking. 

“Mom,” Kihyun said. 

She turned around and smiled as Kihyun and Changkyun both bowed to her. Changkyun held the flowers out to her, and she smiled wider as she took them. 

“I’m Im Changkyun. It’s nice to meet you,” Changkyun said softly. Kihyun bit his lip, trying not to laugh at how stiff Changkyun seemed.

“Ah, don't be so formal. Baby, put these in a vase for me while I get dinner ready?” She said as he held the flowers back out to Kihyun. He smiled and took them before leaning in to kiss her head. 

“Which vase do you want?” Kihyun asked. 

“Whichever one you like,” she said as she turned back to the stove. 

Kihyun got to work setting up the flowers as nicely as he could, Changkyun hovering awkwardly in the kitchen, not knowing what to do. 

“Changkyun, do you mind cutting up those onions for me?” His mother called. 

“Oh, of course!” 

Kihyun laughed to himself as he turned to find Changkyun nervously cutting onions next to where his mother was humming a song as she stirred a few dishes. 

“Need anything else?” Kihyun asked as he walked up behind his mother and hugged her. She reached up and patted his head gently. 

“You can set the rice maker if you want,” she said. 

“Ah, I see she's already put you to work,” Kihyun’s father said as he peeked into the kitchen. 

“If you stay any longer, I can think up a task for you too,” she said. 

He chuckled a bit before leaving again, and Kihyun smiled. 

Nothing had changed here, and there was a comfort in that. He had known what to expect, and it was good to have that familiarity when doing something new. Introducing someone new. 

His mother never chatted while she cooked, but he could tell by the way she smiled at Changkyun’s work with the onions that he already had her soft approval. 

She probably only approved more when Changkyun started setting up the table without being asked, glancing over at Kihyun to make sure he was doing it right. Kihyun definitely made sure to sneak a few kisses here and there when neither of his parents were looking to make him smile. 

When they all sat down to eat, his mother put the flowers in the corner of the room to show them off while they ate and talked. 

“The food is delicious. I can see where Kihyun got his cooking skills from,” Changkyun said. 

“I'm glad he's treating you so well,” his mother said. 

“I'm sorry to be so nosy on our first meeting, but Kihyun never mentioned what you do or anything like that,” his father said. 

Kihyun felt panic rush through him, but Changkyun just nodded. 

“I work at an accounting firm. It isn't the most glamorous job, but I enjoy it,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun had to use all his will to not stare at Changkyun. He remembered that was the job on his resume, but he didn't think Changkyun knew much about it. Just that he had picked a job. 

But as his father started asking him more questions about it, Changkyun just smiled and kept answering as if he actually worked every day at an accounting firm. It was quite an impressive feat of storytelling he was doing, but Kihyun just smiled along. They couldn't really tell his parents that Changkyun didn't have a job because he wasn’t of his earth. 

But Kihyun was glad about one thing. He had been right when he said his parents would love him. 

He and Changkyun did the dishes and helped clean the kitchen as his mother hummed to the radio alongside them. For a moment, Kihyun wondered what her song was like. If it was as sweet and gentle as her voice, or if it would make him feel as relaxed as hearing her voice did. If it matched his father’s or if maybe a part of his sounded like theirs. 

He made a mental note to ask Changkyun later. 

His father tried to insist on them staying the night, claiming that the drive back would be too long and that it was starting to get dark, and as much as Kihyun was tempted, they didn't bring any clothes to change into, so they couldn't. 

Next time, Kihyun promised as they walked out the door, hurrying back into the car because it had gotten colder as time passed. 

Once they were in the car, Changkyun sank into the seat and sighed. 

“You okay?” Kihyun asked. 

“I think that went well,” Changkyun said with a smile. 

“I told you that they'd love you,” Kihyun said as he started the car. 

“When your mom asked you for a kiss, I was terrified for a second she'd ask me for one too,” Changkyun said. 

“I'd worry more about that next time,” Kihyun said honestly. 

“If she does, you'll have to kiss her instead or something,” Changkyun said. 

“Will do. I didn't realize that rule extended to everyone.”

“Of course. It's not just to be mean to you.”

Kihyun laughed a bit. “Well, I guess that's fair.”

“The food was amazing though,” Changkyun said. 

“Thank you. She really is an amazing cook,” Kihyun said.

“Just like you.”

“Oh, I had a question.”

“Yeah?”

“Do families have similar songs?”

Changkyun laughed a bit. “Yes. You have bits of their song in yours.”

“And do they have pretty songs?”

“They do.”

Kihyun licked his lips. He wanted to ask, but he didn't at the same time. Changkyun must have known, though. 

“Strong songs. Happy and loud,” he added. 

Kihyun smiled and nodded. “Good. I'm glad.”

“I'm glad they liked me. Like I could be a part of the family,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun didn't look as he reached out for his hand. Changkyun took it and held it in both of his as Kihyun drove. 

“You are a part of the family,” Kihyun said. 

He glanced over at Changkyun and found him beaming at him.

“Yeah?” He asked. 

Kihyun smiled. “Of course. You're my family. My home. Everything.”

He didn't need to look to know Changkyun was smiling. He could feel it in the way his fingers pressed into his palm like he never wanted to let go. 

“Kihyun?” 

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

Kihyun squeezed Changkyun's hand tight. “I love you too.”

“Say it again.”

Kihyun laughed and squeezed Changkyun's hand tighter. 

“I love you, Changkyun. So much it's crazy.”

Changkyun’s hands were warm as they enveloped his. They sang along to the radio and held hands the rest of the way back to the apartment. 

That night, Changkyun just wanted to be kissed and held over and over again, and Kihyun gave him everything he could ask for. As much love as he could ask for. He held him against him, and felt how light he was, and listened to his song play through his soul as they embraced. 

There were a few moments when Kihyun thought Changkyun would kiss him, but he didn't. He always waited patiently for Kihyun to lock their lips together, even if he got so close the air between them shook. 

As he fell asleep, Kihyun worried that Changkyun might not be there in the morning. That everything felt a little too close to their old goodbyes. 

But when he woke up, Changkyun was still sleeping by his side, and Kihyun wondered if it was time for him to finally stop worrying about him slipping away.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
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	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The radio played, and some winter bird sang outside, and it was probably a beautiful day, but Kihyun thought it might be an even better day inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. This took a while to end, but here we are.

Kihyun woke up and stretched his arms out next to him, taking in the comfort of his bed. It was Saturday, so he didn't have to work, and part of him wanted to make the most of it. The other part wanted to lay in bed for a while. Maybe all day. He reached again and hummed because something felt off. 

He opened his eyes and frowned as he realized that he was alone in bed. 

“Changkyun?” he called out. 

He heard a muffled call, and then he sat up, rubbing at his eyes. 

“Changkyun,” he tried again.

Changkyun's footsteps were light, barely there things, but he had learned to listen for the soft pad of his bare feet on laminate floors, and he felt himself smiling as he heard them then, padding closer and closer until the bedroom door opened, and Changkyun peeked in. 

“Good morning!” he said. 

“Morning. What were you doing?” Kihyun asked. 

“Come see.”

Kihyun stretched one last time before he walked over and kissed Changkyun. Changkyun smiled and took his hand, leading him to their kitchen table. 

There sat a full breakfast spread, rice and kimchi and soup and chicken. Kihyun looked it over before glancing back at Changkyun. 

“Did you make all this?” Kihyun asked. 

“Yeah! Well, I bought the kimchi and soup, but I cooked the chicken and rice.”

Kihyun nodded and sank down in a chair.

“Well, thank you. It looks great.”

Changkyun beamed and sat down next to him. “No problem.”

“Although, you really didn't have to wake up early to cook. Or you could have woken me up to help,” Kihyun said. 

“No, this is a present,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun looked at him. “A present? For what?”

Changkyun smiled and leaned closer, tilting his head a bit. Kihyun leaned in and kissed him.

“It’s kind of like...an anniversary,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun felt his stomach drop. Had he forgotten an anniversary? Did he even  _ know  _ any of their anniversaries?

“What?”

“On this day, when you were ten, you said you wanted us to be best friends forever,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun sighed, and his insides melted. It was just like him to celebrate something that would seem so small to someone else. Something that no one else would mark on their calendar. 

“Changkyun--”

“It was the first time you said forever to me. Like you wanted it forever even if I had to leave right then,” Changkyun said. 

A smile crept its way on Kihyun's face. “I meant it, obviously.”

Changkyun smiled and looked back down at his plate. “So yeah. Breakfast to celebrate our first forever.”

“You should have warned me, so I could've given you a gift or something,” Kihyun said as he finally picked up a pair of chopsticks. 

“Well, I just wanted to hang out today. And maybe this is kind of a bribe to get my way,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun laughed as he ate and leaned against Changkyun. “You didn't have to bribe me for that.”

Changkyun let his head press against Kihyun’s and smiled. “Well, good. I just wanted to lay on the couch, and maybe watch a variety show and cuddle.”

“Aren't I supposed to be the one wishing on stars?” Kihyun joked. 

Changkyun laughed and shook his head. “I thought you already did. That's how you got me in the first place.”

“Alright, alright. You have a point. Now eat and stop distracting me,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun laughed again, his nose rubbing lightly against Kihyun's cheek before he pulled away. 

Kihyun had tried since their talk to ignore the glaring omission in Changkyun's confession. Because no matter what the past was, it didn't explain why Changkyun couldn’t kiss him first. Or wouldn't kiss him first. But Kihyun promised he'd be patient, so he was. He turned and pecked Changkyun’s cheek before going back to eating again. 

He ate until he felt like he might burst. He did the dishes, refusing to let Changkyun do them since he had cooked all by himself. Changkyun responded by turning on the radio and trying to distract him, dancing and pulling at him. 

“Let me finish washing this,” Kihyun whined. 

Changkyun sighed and wrapped his arms around Kihyun, pulling him close. Pressing his nose to that spot behind Kihyun’s ear. 

“Why can't you just toss all of this in the dishwasher? Isn't that its whole purpose? To wash dishes?” 

Kihyun chuckled and leaned back against him as he put the last plate on the drying rack and took his gloves off. 

“Yes, but I don't trust it,” Kihyun said. 

“Then why have it?” Changkyun asked. 

Kihyun turned around and kissed Changkyun. “It came with the apartment.”

“Ah,” Changkyun said with a smile. He leaned closer, and Kihyun grinned as he kissed him again, wrapping his arms around his waist. Changkyun sighed against him and kissed back, his arms snaking around Kihyun's neck. 

The radio played, and some winter bird sang outside, and it was probably a beautiful day, but Kihyun thought it might be an even better day inside. He tugged Changkyun close against him and held him tight, and Changkyun laughed a bit against his bottom lip. 

“I love you,” Kihyun said before he pressed their lips together again. 

Changkyun just kissed back instead of answering, and that was fine with him. Changkyun’s light filled up the whole room, washing everything out like bleach, so bright that Kihyun could almost feel it against the back of his eyelids.

Eventually, Changkyun pulled away to let Kihyun breathe, and he pressed his forehead against Kihyun's shoulder. 

“I love you so much,” Changkyun said. 

“Come on. Let’s go shower and then we can settle in for the day,” Kihyun said. 

“Alright. One more kiss though,” Changkyun said as he pulled away and looked at him. 

And Kihyun could never deny him a kiss. 

He pressed his lips against his one last time before Changkyun was grinning and pulling him along to the bathroom, absolutely glowing. 

+++

They spend the day cuddling on the couch just like Changkyun wanted, only getting up to make lunch and eat it before settling back down to watch episode after episode of whatever Changkyun wanted. Kihyun loved days like this. They would kiss and laugh and be happy the entire day. 

But it was also one of those days where Kihyun just couldn't get the nagging thoughts out of his mind. So when Changkyun was scrolling on his phone to try to figure out what they should order for dinner, Kihyun couldn't help but ask. 

“Changkyun?”

“Hm?”

“Do you think...you said one day you’d be able to kiss me first?”

Changkyun blinked at him, eyes going a bit wide. 

“Not today,” he said. 

“Right, but you can one day?”

Changkyun shifted a bit in his seat and dropped his phone in his lap. “Yes. One day, I promise.”

“Is there...a time limit or…?” Kihyun asks. 

Changkyun licked his lips and sighed. “No. I could kiss you right now if I wanted to. But I won't do that to you.”

“Do what to me? Kiss me?” Kihyun asked. He smiled a bit, poking at his side. “It's not like you're a bad kisser.”

Changkyun giggled and grabbed his hands to hold them still.

“I'm glad you think that, but I still won't kiss you yet.”

“Why?”

He could see the gears turn in Changkyun's head, and that worried him. 

“Are you trying to think of a lie right now?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun shook his head. “Just. Trying to find a way to explain.”

“Okay.”

“It’s like...your kisses keep me grounded here. I could be here without them, obviously, but it's like. They pull me into your world and make me a part of it,” Changkyun said carefully. 

Kihyun nodded and squeezed his hand. 

“So you need me to kiss you first to keep you here?” He asked. 

Changkyun tilted his head a bit. “Well, partly. Not entirely.”

Kihyun frowned. “If my kisses do that, then what would your kisses do?”

Changkyun looked down and traced his thumb over Kihyun's. “It'd fill you up. It'd...change you. You wouldn't belong here anymore.”

Kihyun’s eyes widened. “Where then? Like...up there?”

Changkyun looked at him. “I don't want to be selfish and take you away from...all of this. You’re happy here. You belong here. You have your family, and your friends, and your whole life. And you can have me here, too.”

“I couldn't visit?” Kihyun asked. 

Changkyun smiled a bit, sad. “You could. Of course, you could, but...once you left…”

Kihyun’s heart stuttered in his chest. 

“They'd forget me. Like I forgot you.” 

Changkyun’s hands came up and grabbed his face. “But it’s okay! You don't have to deal with that! You just always kiss me first, and we’ll stay here together!”

“For how long?” Kihyun asked. Changkyun’s smile faltered a bit. 

“As long as you want. As long as you need. You’re too young to leave everything behind. You have so many things to do and see. Too many people to love. I’ll...I'll wait forever if I have to. I wouldn't ever ask you to leave everything behind for me.”

“One tiny little kiss, and I'd just…”

“Become a star,” Changkyun finished with a nod. He reached up and pushed Kihyun’s hair out of his face. “But you don't have to. It's not something we have to do at all if you don't want.”

“But if I don't, what happens?”

Changkyun smiled again, sad. He shrugged. “I'd wait for you again.”

“Changkyun, no.”

“One life that we got to spend together? No bad things? No being torn apart? I'd take that. I could wait however long it'd take for you to come back again.”

Kihyun pulled Changkyun close and squeezed him tight. 

“You shouldn't have to wait again,” Kihyun said. 

“And you shouldn't have to be torn away from everything you know and love. It's okay.”

Kihyun frowned and looked at him. “One day, you'll kiss me, okay? One day, I'll be ready, and we’ll be together, and you won't have to wait for me again.”

Changkyun smiled a bit brighter. “You don't have to promise that.”

“I know, but I want to. I don't know when it'll be, but one day, it'll happen.”

Changkyun sighed and leaned toward him. Kihyun closed the distance and kissed him softly before pulling away. Changkyun chuckles a bit. 

“What?” Kihyun asked. 

“You'll be an old man by then, probably,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun rolled his eyes and started tickling him, making Changkyun scream out a quick apology. 

“You'll be old by then, too,” Kihyun said as he pulled Changkyun up into his lap. 

Changkyun laughed a bit as he buried his face in his shoulder. 

“Growing old together could be nice, honestly,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun grinned and hugged him closer. “It could be.”

“Do you think we’ll get married one day?” Changkyun asked. 

Kihyun hummed and kissed his cheek. “I hope so.”

Changkyun smiled and looked at him. “Good. Because I think that'd be nice.”

Kihyun smiled and kissed him again. Kissed him longer and lingered against him. Changkyun hummed before pulling away and grinning. 

“We still need to get food,” Changkyun said. 

“Hmm, okay,” Kihyun said before kissing his cheek, and then his other cheek, and then all over his face until Changkyun was just giggling.

“Let me order us chicken, damn it,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun laughed and gave him one last kiss before letting him go. Changkyun smiled and reached for his dropped phone to find the order page again. 

Kihyun squeezed him close and just watched him, smiling to himself. 

At least now, there were no more secrets between them. Now, they could just be together without some nagging feeling of dread in the back of Kihyun's mind. 

+++

“I mean...we could find a way around the whole forgetting thing, couldn't we? Maybe a lock of hair or something to leave behind?” Minhyuk asked. 

Kihyun sighed as he thumbed through the pages of a book he wasn't really interested in buying before he put it back on the shelf. 

“Maybe, but what does it matter? It’s not going to happen,” Kihyun said. 

“But--”

“But what, Minhyuk? There is no getting around this. It's just the way it is. And it's not like we’re not happy,” Kihyun says. 

“I'm not saying you're not happy. I'm saying that the universe is being ridiculously unfair to you two specifically.”

Kihyun snorted a laugh before pulling another book off the shelf and thumbing through it. “Well, that we can agree on.”

“I mean, maybe your parents would understand if you got swept away by true love’s kiss? Doesn't everyone wish their child will have a fairytale ending?”

“I think that only works if they, you know, get to see their child be that happy. Not if they forget about him entirely the moment he leaves orbit.”

Minhyuk sighed and crossed his arms. “So what? You stay together in this weird temporary limbo before you get old enough to decide you're better off as a star?”

“I guess.”

“You know, if it wasn't for your parents supposedly being against this…”

“What?”

“I'd want you to go,” Minhyuk said. When Kihyun looked at him with wide eyes, he sighed again and tugged a random book off the shelf. 

“That tired of me?” Kihyun asked. It was a joke, something to give Minhyuk space to take it back, but Minhyuk just kept staring at that book. 

“Of course not. But...it feels like you're not meant to be here. It feels like you're meant to be wherever Changkyun is, and he, as much as I love him, he doesn't belong here. You know that. I know that. Hell, me and Hyungwon can't even really look at him unless we want our corneas burned out,” Minhyuk said. He flipped through the book aimlessly, eyes down at it like he's actually attempting to catch words here and there. 

“Minhyuk--”

“And so what if we cry a bit whenever you come to visit from now on? It's not like you could never come back. We'd still be best friends and see each other all the time and--”

Kihyun hugged Minhyuk close, and he heard him suck in a breath before dropping the book and hugging him back. And maybe it was strange to be hugging his best friend so tightly in the back corner of a bookstore, both of them taking deep breaths to stop themselves from crying, but it was the only thing Kihyun could do. 

“I'd rather see you every once in a while, and maybe get a bit emotional than have you stuck in a place where you don't belong,” Minhyuk said. 

Kihyun pulled away and laughed a bit. “But I do belong here.”

Minhyuk scoffed and shook his head. “Kihyun, you’re so weird that when a literal star fell from the sky and said he was your boyfriend, me and Hyungwon just took that as reality and moved on.”

Kihyun let out a wet little laugh, and Minhyuk grinned. 

“You always talk about how Changkyun looks at things and thinks so highly of everyone and finds the best in everything as if you're not just like that. As if you haven't photographed what some people would call garbage and turned around and told me it was beautiful in a strange sort of way.”

Kihyun chuckled again, pushing lightly at Minhyuk’s chest to get him to stop. Minhyuk just licked his lips and kept going. 

“And when I thought I was garbage and terrible, you were the one that was there to tell me I was wrong. That you could see things in me that I never saw in myself. And that is  _ exactly _ how Changkyun sees the world. And maybe, yeah, he's a star. But you’re made of the same thing, aren't you? Aren't we all just bits and pieces of stars?”

“I'm not used to you being so eloquent,” Kihyun said, trying to find footing in this situation. Minhyuk laughed, bending down to pick up the book he had dropped to dust it off. 

“I'm not saying run away to space right this second. I'm just saying that yeah there's stuff keeping you here, but it's not like you don't belong up there with the other weird star people.”

Kihyun huffed and snatched the book from Minhyuk before putting it back on the shelf. 

“I don't know why I expected you to keep being so nice,” he said. 

“I went for a while there, I definitely had to bring it back,” Minhyuk replied. 

“I don't know if I should be more offended at my boyfriend being called weird star people or that you said I'm just like weird star people.”

“Yeah, I'm kind of lost on that question myself.”

Kihyun sighed and smiled to himself. “Thank you, though.”

“For?”

“For telling me it's okay to want to leave without actually saying it.”

“It's okay to want to leave. Get married first though, starshine really wants that to happen,” Minhyuk says. 

“Now that I think we can both agree on,” Kihyun said. 

“If I'm not your best man, I'm not going by the way.”

“As if anyone else would be my best man.”

Minhyuk smiled and turned away to look at the bookshelves again. 

“It’ll all be okay, Kihyun. Whatever you decide. Whatever you two decide. At least you don't have to worry about me, okay?”

Kihyun smiled and elbowed Minhyuk. Minhyuk elbowed him back. And he knew that at least that would never change. 

+++

It was hard to explain to his parents. He had waited until a day where Hyungwon invited Changkyun out for a day trip to a concert, and then he had gone by himself to tell his parents. 

He had, of course, told them the good news first. He was planning on marrying Changkyun, and that had sent his parents into happy chattering and planning. Kihyun just smiled and waited for them to turn to him again when his mother got there quicker than he could. 

“Oh, but, we need to talk to Changkyun’s family about it,” she had said. 

And Kihyun could only sigh as he explained that Changkyun didn't really have a family except for him. A few friends, but otherwise, no one else.

It was harder to explain why. 

Of course, they didn't believe him at first. Why would they believe their son was with a star? Especially the one that had been his imaginary friend when he was younger. He still had no idea what made it click with them. Maybe it was the sincerity in his voice as he started telling them their story. Maybe it was the look in his eyes. Maybe it was the fact that when they went to get his fortune when he was born, the fortune teller had told him he was meant to reach the heavens, and now Kihyun could see the truth in it. 

He was always meant to be somewhere else. He just didn't know where or why. 

The hardest part, though, came with telling them that maybe he'd be gone for a while afterwards. That he doesn't know when he'd come back after the wedding. 

It was the way his mother’s face fell. The way his father's jaw set as he looked away. 

Like they thought that they might never see him again even though Kihyun refused for that to be true. He certainly was expecting to visit as often as he could. 

He didn't tell them that they might forget him. He didn't think he could do that to them. Not right then when everything was changing so fast and so much already. 

He ended up staying the night there, talking and talking everything out with them until the sun had been gone for hours, and they were all exhausted. In the morning, he felt strange for having slept without Changkyun, but he was glad to have his mother's breakfast and a kiss on the top of his head, and he knew that meant that it was okay. That everything would be fine. 

When he got home, Changkyun jumped right into his arms and babbled about missing him and how good the concert was and how he missed him and how he wanted to kiss him more than ever, and Kihyun just smiled and kissed him silent again. 

When his parents called that night to check if he had made it home safe, his mother insisted that Changkyun started calling him mom, too. And if both Kihyun and Changkyun cried about it, they didn't mention it at all. They just fell into bed together that night, Changkyun wrapping himself around Kihyun and whispering about love until they both fell asleep. 

+++

The year between Kihyun actually proposing (on Minhyuk's porch, of course, the place where they were finally together again, the place where he sobbed because he remembered him) and the wedding was stressful but fun. Kihyun made sure to take Changkyun to all the places they talked about. The mountains. The seas. The forests. The lakes. The lights of cities so bright that even the stars were blotted out. 

Changkyun stared at the world around him in that sense of awe he always had, and he would squeeze Kihyun’s hand and pull him closer, and that had always made Kihyun smile. 

Whenever they managed to be at home, all they did was plan and plan and plan for their wedding. They had decided on something small, neither of them really wanting a big spectacle. They just wanted their friends and close family there to share in their happiness. 

Kihyun didn't tell Changkyun what he had planned on by himself. What he had told Minhyuk and Hyungwon in secret one day. What his parents already knew. 

Because Kihyun didn't want to wait to be as happy as he could be. He wanted his husband to kiss him and be able to kiss him as much as his heart desired, and Kihyun wanted to kiss him back just as much. 

His home had been Changkyun for so long that this just felt like the most natural next step. He didn't see it as him leaving something behind. Just going where he was always meant to be. 

And when he cried during the ceremony, Changkyun’s hands in his as they waited for permission to finally kiss, all he could think about was the future, and Changkyun and the kisses he could finally drop in the place behind his ear where Changkyun would press the tip of his nose to. 

When the officiant told them to kiss, Changkyun smiled and tilted his head and waited, but Kihyun just smiled and shook his head before pulling him closer. 

“Kiss me,” Kihyun mouthed, and it was just them in the room. In the world. In the universe. 

Changkyun’s eyes widened for a moment, and he hesitated, looking him over. 

Kihyun nodded and reached up to tangle his fingers in the hair on the back of his head. 

“Just kiss me,” Kihyun whispered. 

Changkyun’s eyes filled up for a moment before he closed them, and he leaned in and pressed his lips against his. 

And even on the back of his eyelids, Kihyun knew that their light was blinding. The room got loud and then quiet and then all he could hear, all he was filled up with was a song that felt familiar. A song that sounded like love. 

“Ah, hell,” Minhyuk hissed out somewhere behind Kihyun, and Kihyun pulled away to smile and wipe at Changkyun's cheeks. 

“I love you,” Kihyun whispered, but he sang it too. Sang it with his entire soul and being. 

“Kihyun, oh my God,” Changkyun said before he kissed him again, pecked all over his face and lips. 

“Come on, guys, there's still a dinner to get to,” Jooheon quietly said behind Changkyun. 

They were laughing, the both of them, so close to each other’s face and happy and bright, oh so bright. 

Kihyun had never felt warmer or lighter or happier in his life. And he could remember it all. All the lives they had together with exacting detail and all the pain they had shared, and the moment when Kihyun had looked up at the stars and had known just which one was his. 

Just which one loved him. 

He could hear all the songs Changkyun had mentioned. The way Minhyuk’s was upbeat and jazzy, and the way Hyungwon’s mellower song still matched up perfectly with his. The way his parents sounded like a unit, like without one it would feel incomplete. The way Jooheon and Hoseok seemed louder and bigger than the other ones, their words coming clear through to him. 

But most of all, he listened to Changkyun's song. The happy beat of a thrumming heart and melodies that Kihyun could have never even imagined before, and he could hear how his song was matched to his, riding on the same beat. 

That night at dinner, Changkyun couldn't stop pressing kisses to his cheek, the corner of his lips, his temple, and everything felt as it should. 

When his parents and their friends were about to send them off, tears in their eyes, Kihyun handed his mother a tiny little box filled with a lock of his hair. A part of him staying behind to be remembered. 

+++

“I love you. I can't believe you just...you decided to come with me,” Changkyun said as he pressed another kiss to the mole right beneath Kihyun’s lip. 

“I was ready. Besides, now we have all the time in the world to see everything we want.”

Being a star wasn't as overwhelming as Kihyun thought it'd be. It was a lot like being human, just with more of everything. More feeling. More noise. More joy. 

“I love kissing you,” Changkyun said, and then he laughed as he placed another kiss on Kihyun's jaw. 

“I love you kissing me,” Kihyun said as he wrapped his arms around him. 

“I love you. I love you so much,” Changkyun said. 

Kihyun smiled and tilted his head up to plant a kiss on his lips. 

“I love you too. And I'll love you forever. Forever and ever.”

Changkyun giggled, and Kihyun could see how he would blind anyone like this. In his natural state. A full star in the sky. 

“And now you can,” Changkyun said. 

And of all the songs in the world Kihyun had ever heard, he doesn't think he's ever heard one as sweet as Changkyun’s when they kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up:  
[cc](https://curiouscat.me/yikeslike)  
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